Little Memories
by silently-abandoned
Summary: After being kicked out of the Lifestream, the remnants of Sephiroth decide to blend in society despite their efforts to destroy the very thing they hated. Yazoo lives off of money wherever he can get it, Loz for a certain Turk, and Kadaj... Just gets stranded in the middle of nowhere.
1. I

_Hey guys! So this is my first Final Fantasy fanfiction so if there is any mistakes in timeline and anything else like typos please tell me. Reviews keep me going! I would love it if you let me know how it is._

 _The main pairing in this story is Cloud/Kadaj. Reno/Yazoo and Rude/Loz is confirmed and hints of Genesis/Sephiroth will be shown later._

 _I will be crossing over Final Fantasy games such as VIII, X, and XIII. It will be VERY VERY subtle (except for X) so don't get butthurt. I am still thinking about Kingdom Hearts so._

 _This is following a theory by wordmage/kittenfair on tumblr where Sephiroth bases the remnants off of Angeal, Genesis and himself._

 _Oh and yes there will be sex. Because come on. You can't live without hardcore gay smut_.

 ** _DISCLAIMER: FINAL FANTASY AND ITS COMPONENTS DO NOT BELONG TO ME THEY BELONG TO SQUARE ENIX._**

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

"I thought I would feel better afterwards. I don't."

The silver haired young man stared emptily past the dusty terrain where bugs and animals infested the place. The dry cracked earth was screaming for water to be fed, something from the planets to give it life again.

It was funny how a year could change him.

A year stuck inside an endless river where he could hear the souls whispering to one another.

A year where he lived in harmony with his brothers without a fight.

A year where the oh so merciful goddess was entertained with keeping them company.

It's been a year.

 _And nothing changed._

"Well at least you did something, huh? You showed 'em traitors who's in charge."

The man with fiery red hair spit out a cancer stick he held in his mouth. His cerulean blue eyes glanced up at him and he sighed.

"But I'm just guessin' you don't care about that, yo? Usually you don't."

Reno accepted Yazoo's silence for a brief second, his feet kicking against the sand. He cracked his back as he sat on his bike, the solemn stance of the remnant still staring at the terrain.

"What about that money, yo?"

The reminder he practically spat out finally made the still remnant move, his head cocking up to the side.

"Shinra can wait."

"He's not good at that."

The clone gave an exasperated sigh. He turned around and lightly brushed Reno off his bike, sitting perfectly on top. The redhead climbed in behind him.

"When are you getting your own bike anyway? You know how to fly, bleed, mend your own wounds, how come you don't drive?"

Yazoo cocked the engine to his motorbike, pleased by it coming to life. He heard the redhead chuckle lightly behind him.

"Cause whenever I get a car, usually they looks ugly as hell after two months. I like other people's ride, at least their's is shiny."

He fastened his hold around Yazoo's waist and gasped when he sped up down the sandy terrain.

"Never gonna get used to that, yo."

* * *

All he could feel was sand.

Pure, dusty, obnoxious sand everywhere.

He couldn't feel the soft embrace he'd come to love, the warm feeling of nurturing happiness. That was all he was accustomed to feeling, especially when there wasn't anyone around.

Kadaj sat up and spat on the ground, quickly irritated with the grains of sand on his face. He instinctively squeezed his eyes shut and scowled, shaking his head to get the remaining particles out. He stood up on his feet, falling back down but picked himself up quickly.

He was confused, his mind was fuzzy as the desert landscape practically shook underneath his feet. He wobbled, his feet sinking underneath the ground.

How his bike rode comfortably here before, he had no idea.

The ground broke as he fell through, nearly tripping. Besides the unpredictable ground he was walking on, the air was stale and dry, the sun practically smacking him with blistering rays.

It was one of those things where he wanted to look up but if he did, the menacing star would burn out his eyes.

It was one of those things where he could feel his lips drying rapidly, crackling under the harsh rays.

It was one of those things where despite hating being pushed in the water, it was something he craved more than ever.

But the question still revolved around his mind.

Where was Mother?

Kadaj grunted and he clenched his fists, frustrated tears pooling in his eyes.

 _Where's Mother?_

He sniffed and immediately wiped his tears, scowling. He wasn't going to give up yet, he wasn't Loz.

There was only sand. Sand everywhere, sand in his eyes, sand in his shoes, sand in his pants, sand everywhere.

But wasn't he in _heaven?_

 _With Mother?_

The last thing he remembered was a soft voice calling down from the heavens, a pale small hand caressing his cheeks. Cloud was over him, that was, and yet from his stance he could hear light gasps above. He could even feel a droplet of water tickle his cheeks.

 _Was he crying?_

 _No, Big Brother doesn't cry._

The silver haired remnant couldn't take the lasers bashing down on him anymore, he wasn't used to things like this.

He was used to the stench of unwashed bodies roaming around in the streets, poor men begging on their knees for money, the slow people shuffling around trying to get through the day.

Not rays of light that wanted to crack his skin open, sand that invaded his body and a low hiss resounding in his ears.

"Mother?"

He called out, his dry throat cracking painfully.

"Mother?"

He hated being like this, he hated having to call out, he wasn't a damn _child_ anymore.

"Mother!"

All of his strength fell through that one call, screaming past the arid air that seemed to clog his ears and nose.

His knees buckled under his feet, weak from the pressuring atmosphere. He could feel the air constricting him, wrapping its fingers around his damp neck and wringing his frail frame.

"Mother.."

The last piece of air from his lungs was stolen away, collapsing around the soft, searing sand.

Kadaj could care less if the sand opened up and ate him, it would be better than getting kicked out of the Lifestream, left to fend for himself.

 _Does Gaia love playing games…_

* * *

About an hour passed before he was startled awake yet again by a little foot.

Kadaj wrinkled his nose and narrowed his mako green eyes at the black figure he spoke some language he couldn't understand - or maybe even hear - and clenched his fists.

"Leave me… Alone!"

He growled, trying to abruptly sit up but fell down due to loss of energy. Eventually he regained his footing and wobbled on his own two feet, mumbling. His death stare hadn't let up though.

The man seemed to understand and rose two hands, covered in gloves. Now that Kadaj could see him clearly, his whole body was covered up, save for his shoulders, which was exposed between torn gauze. His face was wrapped around in bandages, gray goggles placed where the eyes should be. The language he was speaking was something slang, curved with every word.

"What are you still doing here? Leave!"

Even though he tried to be menacing, his pale dry skin was threatening to crack and bleeding split lip was caked in sand. His leather outfit was torn and dried, tearing at the shoulders down.

He wasn't going far in this.

When the man spoke something in another language, something he couldn't understand, he scowled and reached down to his hips to try and get _Souba._

Nothing there.

He looked down in a panic, his eyes wide with surprise before darting back up at the man, burning with anger.

"Did you just _rob_ me?!"

The man seemed to jump back in surprise at the shout, even Kadaj was amazed that he could pull it out of himself.

"Well?!"

The man shook his head, bucking his hips forward and slightly spun as if saying he didn't have anything to give to him.

Still though, the teen snarled and hadn't let up his menacing posture despite being shorter.

"Get out of my sight. _Now."_

The bundled up man spoke up, again with the jumbled up nonsense as he took a step forward.

Big mistake.

The remnant suddenly rushed forward, his hand clamping around the man's neck tightly. With every word dripped in poison, his nails dug into the rags.

"You have only a few seconds before I twist my wrist and snap whatever bone you have in you. Understand?"

If the man didn't understand what he meant by leaving him alone before, now he knew.

He fell down, immediately tripping and ran away, sand flying around underneath his feet.

Now that Kadaj just had himself, he began to regret chasing him away.

What if he had food and water on him?

 _Well now that doesn't matter now, does it?_

The remnant shakily began walking away again, running his fingers through his silver shoulder length hair so whatever sand got trapped in there, he brushed out.

He let his feet carry him on, footsteps slowly disappearing under sand as he wandered.

Wandered where exactly, he had no idea.

His mind wandered far off, his hair smacking him in the face.

"Yazoo?"

He called out, his voice weak again due to lack of water.

"Loz?"

Most importantly, where was Mother?

His brothers weren't anywhere at all, the bikes they rode in wasn't visible.

What _year_ was it?

Did he even awaken at the right place as last time?

Obviously not, it was a rock hard crater he woke up from, not a damn _desert._

"Yazoo?!"

Kadaj called out again, this time louder than before.

And this time he knew no one wasn't going to listen.

 _I'm cold…_

Kadaj wrapped his arms around his legs, shivering in the bitter cold.

He still didn't come across anything, no water, no food, nothing.

The only chance of survival was with that strange man he woke up too.

 _Why didn't he follow him…_

The remnant's teeth clattered, his skin practically freezing.

How could a harsh landscape outside produce freezing nights like these?

The worst was when the wind blew, it seemed to try and knock the life out of you.

"Mother…"

He muttered under his breath, the name stuck on his lips.

It wouldn't matter how long he'd still be left out in the cold, he knew Mother always protected her children.

 _But where was she?_

Just now a name stumbled past his lips, one he hardly ever spoke of.

"Sephiroth…"

He hardly ever recalled saying that name before, except when he was overlooking Midgar with Shinra. That was the only time he ever spoke His name, the only time it ever mattered.

He crumbled up beside two sticks and a bunch of rags he tied together around him, enough to warm him up at night.

"M-Mo…"

He started to say but couldn't, his voice caught in his throat. His lip quivered as he suddenly remembered his fight with Cloud, the man hesitant to kill him. Even in his mind he wanted the pain to be over, he never landed the last blow.

 _Please…_

He couldn't help it this time, his eyes filled with tears thinking about them, thinking about Loz and his stupid tough facade even though it never worked, Yazoo and his quiet, soothing voice and his long hair which he always wanted to braid.

Cloud, despite how much he hated the man and how he made his heart _ache_ , he couldn't help but wish for his presence now.

It was better than being buried alive in this horrid _sand._

He missed them all.

 _Somebody…_

Tears fell down his cheeks, staining the ground underneath. He tried to push them back but that was worse. He coughed, his dry throat scratching itself, almost bleeding.

 _Mother..._

He couldn't stop them from falling, the dam of his emotions let loose.

He kept them buried, he stuffed them all away in his head so he wouldn't think about them, wouldn't acknowledge them. He'd do anything to never face them all, the monsters he locked away in his head.

Mother usually kept them back. She bolted them shut with a lock and key.

Now she was gone.

He didn't know _what_ to live for.

 _What was so important that he couldn't find Mother anymore?_

What was so _important_ that he was thrown out of the lifestream?

Didn't he bring back Sephiroth like Mother wanted?

Wasn't he _done?_

"Mother!"

He called again to no avail, his desperate cries to hear her voice again, just _one more time…_

"Mother!"

He didn't bother wiping his tears or cleaning the sand off his clothes, he just didn't care anymore.

All he wanted was to leave and never return.

Kadaj shut his eyes and could feel his muscles failing him, could feel the hunger subside and the thirst not matter anymore. He shut his eyes and hoped that woman would come down and reunite him with his brothers, with Cloud, with Mother…

What he didn't notice was two beady black eyes watching him from behind a cactus, whispering something incoherent and nothing important.

* * *

 _Read and review please!_


	2. II

_**DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy does not belong to me, it belongs to SQUARE ENIX. If it was my way, I would bring back the gay twink from Crisis Core.**_

 _ **We all know who that is.**_

* * *

"Cloud, this isn't funny!"

The young girl's voice rang in the speakers, sounding like she was pouting from the other side.

"Marlene please, can you give the phone to Tifa? I understand I haven't called in a long time but this is very important."

The blonde huffed against the speaker, almost feeling guilty himself for not calling or talking to them in a very long time.

"Fine but you're coming back again, right?"

"Marlene-"

" _Please?"_

His heart throbbed in his chest at the sound of her voice, more than it was already.

"Yes… I promise."

He didn't know how many times he made that promise already but it _hurt_ each time he made it.

"Okay… Fine. Tifa!"

The girl's voice was distant, yet he could hear Denzel laughing and playing with another girl.

 _Oh how happy it must've been for the both of them._

"Cloud?"

His heart skipped a beat, almost bursting out of his chest at the sound of her voice.

"Hey."

 _Damn it Cloud, why can't you just say something else? You don't call for months, and now you finally say something and all you can say is 'hey'?_

"How have you been?"

He could tell something was off in her voice, not the usual happy voice she greeted him with in the voicemails.

"Well. I've been well.."

Again, another lie.

"You sure about that?"

Of course Tifa would know what's going on. She could read him when no one else could.

"Tifa, it's been a long time, I know but I'm coming back soon-"

"Don't give me that."

She snapped suddenly, making the blonde flinch on the other side.

"What Cloud, you don't call for six months, you don't send a note or something and now you finally reappear? What's going on?"

Cloud winced at the sound of her voice. He figured she would've gotten used to him almost never showing up or calling to let her know he was alright but he never put into thought she was _done_ with it.

Cloud vanished on murmurous occasions, her birthday, living in Midgar, the fact she was able to take care of the kids like a mother, like she _was_ their mother.

And he knew how important a mother was to a child.

"I'm sorry, Tifa. I can't get you into what I'm doing, I can't bring you and the kids into this."

"But are you _alright_?"

The blonde was honestly surprised at this.

He expected a scream, a remark full of spite or a tired 'okay' in response.

But all he got was _concern_.

He broke too many promises towards her, too many of the kid's promises, too many of his own promises, and now all he got was _concern._

One of the most important people in his life was _worried_ about him, not the usual one where she demanded him to know how location and when he'll be coming back but how she actually _worried_ about his safety, even though Cloud mostly got it himself.

Even though he saved the world more times than he could count, he was still a human being - for the most part. One bullet or one swipe of the sword and he's gone. Forever.

And that was the thing that bothered him.

"I will be, I promise. To you and the kids."

He cleared his throat and felt the high winds pick up, knowing the sandstorm was merciless, claiming all of her unfortunate victims.

"I gotta go now. See ya."

He hung up, Tifa's weak 'see you later' being cut off.

* * *

Kadaj didn't know where he ended up.

All he wanted was a quick death from a scoundrel's sword or a slow death from thirst and hunger but now he was shaken up and thrown down again, back into the same old world.

 _Why can't you just let me die?_

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, grains of sand trapped underneath his fingertips. It took a while for the light to pass through but eventually it did, clearing up his image.

 _What the-_

Colors leaked through the torn curtains of the tent, light slipping through holes. Sticks were hung up tightly in the fabric, keeping it formidable in the sand.

It was hot, humid, but it was significantly cooler inside the shade, that he was thankful for. Shadows blanketed his head, making whatever light that threatened to touch him keep him safe.

Medical supplies littered the tent, bags and clothes that were too colorful for his taste was hung up against hooks that stuck out from the sticks.

The most odd thing however, was why there was a _robot_ next to him.

And it was a live, beeping, and fully functioning _robot._

It was shaped like a person but wider, hollow thin tubes jutting out from the stomach connecting to the backpack-like object on his back.

It seemed to stand there and just _stare_ , it's head tilted to the side as if he was waiting for the teenager to talk.

"Uh… Hello?"

The robot sprung to life, beeping away as it wobbled out of the tent as if to notify someone the teenager was awake.

Which left the confused and rapidly growing bored teen buried in rags and a _quilt_. A heavy blanket in a _desert_ out of all the places it was supposed to stay in.

Kadaj brushed his bangs to the side, his green eyes peering into a clear bag with water glistening and bouncing around.

"Water…"

He rasped, practically falling on his knees to open the bag and gulp it all down, droplets escaping past his lips.

 _Oh, how I've missed this._

What he wouldn't _kill_ to be pushed in a lake right now.

"Like it, kid?"

An elderly woman's voice was heard behind him, startling the boy to dropping the bag, water spilling past his fingers onto his knees.

"No!"

"Don't worry, we just had chocobos come in with barrels of water."

The old woman crossed her arms and smiled, wrinkles creasing on the side of her eyes. She wasn't like the women who walked feebly, her knees cracking under her due to dead weight and clothes but different, way different than what he'd seen.

Smile lines were permanently etched onto the side of her lips, her livid green eyes still lit up with joy and a hunger for adventure despite her years. She was tall, taller than Kadaj - then again who wasn't - with sun kissed skin. Dots littered the side of her forehead but she concealed it with a Persian blue bandana which was tied firmly around her forehead.

Her clothes were oriented with charms and almost everything Kadaj thought of, rabbit's feet hung off her belt and light blue and yellow feathers - which he guessed was from chocobos - strung off her legs. Her white hair was braided in knots, almost forming a crown around her firm temple. Of course it was completed with two white buns, feathers dropping out of them.

Kadaj was amazed people in this world even lasted long, much less be _happy_.

"Right… Excuse me if I don't like introductions but I'll be going now."

The silver haired teen tried to push past the elderly woman but she blocked the way.

Who does she _think she is_?

"Excuse me lady but I've got to be somewhere-"

"Please, stay for a while."

Kadaj froze and narrowed his eyes at the woman, crossing his thin arms together.

Who was she to say that he should _stay_? He didn't want to stay, he wanted to find Mother, not get stranded in the middle of a desert where food and water was a rare fortune.

"Oh please, I think I'm just fine. Now move or else you'll regret ever bringing me here."

He finalized that point, his lips curled in a snarl and the tips of his words etched with poison.

Maybe _that_ will make her scared, put some fear in those old bones, make her know her place.

But there was nothing but a chuckle, her green eyes glinted with something close to excitement.

"A bit of an adventurer, aren't you? Didn't your momma tell you to respect your elders?"

Something inside Kadaj snapped. His mako green eyes flared, his face immediately reddened with anger.

How _dare_ she talk about Mother like that?

Doesn't she know how _long_ he wanted to reunite with her?

Does she even _know_ how without his Mother he couldn't be _complete_?

Does she even know the _pain_ he had to _endure_ each and every day without hearing her voice?

 _Just one more…_

He lashed out without thinking twice about it. His fist raised in the air before he could stop himself.

A surge of sea green mist blew from his arm, energy spiking through his body. His mako eyes lit up, black slits dilating to engulf his eyes. The corner of his mouth turned up into an evil smirk.

His arm came down, a snicker escaping past his lips.

 _Maybe this will show her who's in charge-_

The silver haired remnant froze, astonished. He couldn't say a single word, his green eyes wide.

 _What the-_

The woman caught his fist in mid-air.

Mid-air.

Kadaj scrambled away, falling on the bed. The old woman's face scrunched up into a small grin.

"Think you can play me, kid?"

The woman laughed louder this time, her voice cackling, being heard from outside of the tent.

"I haven't fought in such a long time! Especially with that kind of magic, what was that?"

The remnant's voice caught in his throat, his green cat-like eyes blown wide.

"What? Cat got your tongue?"

She snickered at her own joke, pointing at Kadaj's eyes.

"Ah fine, I'll let up. Meet me outside when you can, cat."

She turned around and didn't even bother trying to protect herself, lifting up the colorful fabric. Sunlight poured in and Kadaj actually hoped for once the day would just fall into nighttime.

"Kadaj."

The woman lifted a white eyebrow and turned around.

"What?"

"My name is Kadaj."

The teen looked up, his green eyes suddenly dull. It should've stunned the woman that the teen's mood changed so quick but it didn't.

There was a time where this was all she ever saw.

The elderly lady's smile turned up again, this time calming down the long term feelings of animosity in the boy.

"Rikku. Get some rest, hm?"

Kadaj tore away his gaze and nodded, bringing up the blanket to hide from her.

The clash of beads falling on warm sand was the only thing he heard before slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

A loud thump stunned the tall Turk for a brief second, the pen falling out of his hands.

There was a bloody _bag_ on his desk.

Tseng's honey brown eyes stared at the bag for a moment, then back at the taller Remnant, then back at the bag.

"W-What is-"

"I got the job done. Where's the money?"

Yazoo stood on one foot, his stoic green eyes locked on Tseng's stunned ones.

"W-Where the money always is, why ask-"

"Reno said that you had extras if I bring the head. An extra 2000 Gil, to be exact."

Tseng's jaw slacked open for a second before shutting. He tried to talk again but shut his mouth again.

"Reno… Said…"

His hand rubbed his temples, staying quiet for a second. He sat there, his head in his hands as he tried to calm down.

 _Calm down._

He was losing his normally stoic composture, he just knew it.

He didn't know why he wasn't used to this type, he was used to skinning people and torturing them - ironic since the man that taught him that was right in front of him. With a bloody bag. - but he wasn't used to _heads_.

He always got a shiver when he saw people's heads on spikes, which was unusual from a Wutainese. When he was a child, the village he lived in was right near Wutai and the small village was used for numerous things: prostitution, narcotics, execution and slave trade. Tseng was a very handsome man, built and somehow different from all the other men in the village. Women drooled over him, men were jealous and even though he hardly ever spoke, he was already popular.

In a both good and bad way.

His family was political, often involved with the leaders at that time. Tseng guessed they were head of council, but he only guessed. He never knew which side his family was in until the War.

His uncle was caught sharing information to Shinra because he claimed the nation was failing anyway. Only Wutai cared about was it's capital, nothing more. His village was suffering mainly because the leader kept all the money to himself.

But once the neighbor ratted his uncle out, his family was shamed by the authorities and as a result, his uncle and wife were executed. Their heads were placed on the pike outside of his house.

Everyday the boy looked out the window and came face to face with the back of his uncle's head.

 _Calm down._

Tseng recalled once he was going to school and saw a man carry his wife's head on a spike. Apparently the woman drowned her three young children because she couldn't afford taking care of them anymore and her husband caught her before she could drown the last one, an infant.

 _Calm down._

The most scarring of all was when he bumped into one of the spikes and the head came crashing down on his temple, causing the young boy to fall over and come face to face with it.

It's dead beading eyes peering into his soul, the mouth hung open revealing the insides picked out by crows.

 _Calm down._

Since then the Wutainese was paranoid with severed heads, averting his gaze when faced with one.

"So do you have the gil or not?"

Yazoo's voice snapped him back to reality, where he stuttered before practically ripping the drawers open, trying to find the bags of coins he stored for the newly turned bounty hunter.

 _How_ he got the remnant to take the job as a bounty hunter for the Turks was beyond his knowledge. Maybe it had something to do with ensuring Loz's safety into the Turks first before he could go.

Loz did have an odd… Fascination with Reno's partner after all.

"Here, just get the thing off my desk first."

Yazoo cocked an eyebrow before picking up the bag, the crimson red liquid staining the hardwood desk and floor.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you so uncomfortable. You're a Turk, aren't you supposed to be used to this kind of stuff?"

Tseng shot a look at Yazoo before dropping the bag into his awaiting hand.

"Depends on the Turk."

He swallowed thickly, taking a few soft tissues out of the drawer and wiped down the desk. He looked up once more at the long haired man, catching his smirk which was a silent 'thank you'. He noticed he was also carry a lanyard with bloody ID tags.

"You should give the ID tags to Rufus, just drop it in his office. He'll be glad that the rebel leader is taken care of."

He sniffed, hearing the door slam shut in the cold room.

Tseng rubbed his eyes, groaning.

"Only Sephiroth, I swear."

* * *

 _Read and review please!_


	3. III

**_DISCLAIMER: go back to the first page._**

 _I might start doing two sections from now on. Just to make things short._

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

"Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that, okay?"

Rude carried a limp and injured Loz down the stairs, his heartbeat racing in his chest. Blood stained his suit fast and it certainly wasn't his.

They took a mission that Shinra left behind on his desk, so to Tseng it was perfectly fine. The president didn't mention anything that could go wrong, it was just a sweep job where all they had to do was get in and get out.

Apparently it wasn't as simple as it looked.

The target they were following had a bomb strapped to his chest, the detonator in a building opposite from them. The job was just to get information but it took a wrong turn fast.

"Wha?"

The dim green lights in the remnant's eyes were clueless, his hands clenching tightly around his collar.

"Can you hear me, Loz?"

Rude wondered if the bomb blew out Loz's eardrums since he was close to it after all.

 _Too_ close.

"I can't hear you…"

Blood trickled down his ears, Loz unable to hear anything. He couldn't even hear Rude's deep voice, the only thing that could give him _something_ to hold onto.

"Rude?"

He tried again but nothing. He couldn't even hear his own voice.

The bald man kicked open the side of the building door and practically ran down the alleyway, sitting him down on the bench.

The Turk figured it was useless answering him since he couldn't hear him anyways and flipped open his phone, calling Reno.

 _He better pick up this time._

Yazoo was completely out of the list of people to call for. Once the remnant came and saw his brother's condition, he'd skin him alive and not even bother with Loz until later.

 _Reno, where the hell are you?_

He'd better not be in the strip club near 7th Heaven, just sitting there and cheering on the woman that threw their panties in the audience.

Then again Yazoo practically banned him from going in recently, probably because of the remnant's conflicted feelings.

"...Rudy?"

The weak voice snapped him back to reality. His slick hair was falling, framing his soft squared face perfectly. The blonch on his suit jacket expanding. His hand was stained with the sinful essence, the coppery stench lingering up to Rude's nose.

 _He could die here and you're just gonna watch him slowly lose hope in you?_

 _While you're dialing all of your numbers you have to get a ride, he's still staring at you like a_ _ **god**_ _._

 _He always saw you as a god._

Loz blinked. For a second, he thought that those eyes would shut forever.

Then he lost his chance.

 _ **Fuck**_ _this._

The bald man snapped his phone shut, bending over and touched the wound so his callous gloved hands were soaked. He pressed against the wound, Loz wincing in pain above him.

"Sorry."

He clenched around the bulkier remnant's hand, making sure the hand was clamping against the opening.

"Just hold on to that, okay?"

"It hurts…"

Tears filled up his eyes, threatening to fall down those once rosy cheeks that was paling dramatically.

"I know but you'll be fine, okay? I won't let anything hurt you."

He knew he was just spitting lies, all of the reassurance he gave him were all just lies.

Life as a Turk was just one near death experience to another, you were lucky if you didn't have bullets whizzing by your head for every mission you've been through.

It wasn't fair they had to recruit Loz, anything was better than _this_.

"Can you call Yazoo?"

The man sniffed, tears falling out of his precious green eyes.

"Yazoo's busy."

The look on his face was one he'll never forget. The look of a child abandoned by his parents, a child who just scraped his knee and had nobody to take care of him.

"I-If I don't make it-"

"Shut up, you'll make it. Just think about going to bed, hm? Sleeping in warm sheets and you don't get to wake up till eleven tomorrow, huh?"

He ripped the white suit jacket apart and opened a tiny box where he kept all the needles and strings. He plucked one out of the case and tied a loose thread around the tip.

"Do I get to sleep in your bed this time?"

The remnant almost cutely remarked, his eyes glimmering faintly but Rude could see something else in there, something he couldn't comprehend.

The darker man nodded, this time he smiled a little.

"You're always allowed in my bed, remember?"

He remembered the eldest remnant often complained about the guest bedroom in Rude's apartment, whether it was the rock hard bed or the blinds weren't good for blocking sunlight, to the point where he complained that the floors were 'too cold' in the morning. Colder than the tiled floor in the kitchen.

Eventually Rude gave up and let the man sleep in his bed but the deal was Loz wouldn't, under any circumstances, cuddle with him.

Somehow along the road the deal was broken and the Turk could care less.

"Yeah but sometimes… Sometimes…"

His words trailed off suddenly, the soft voice quieting down.

"Loz?"

"I-I'm fine, just…"

The silver haired remnant coughed and he swore he accidentally spat blood on the bald man's forehead.

 _Nope, on his glasses._

"I-I'm sorry! I can't-"

"It's fine, you can't help it."

Rude's lips turned up in a smile, a rare chuckle coming from him.

Before Loz could comment on it, his phone rang loudly, splitting through the air.

 _Finally._

Rude pressed against the wound so nothing bled out and opened his phone.

"Reno, where the hell-"

"Reno can't come to the phone right now, is anything the matter?"

The Turk suddenly felt all of his blood freeze up at the sound of that sickening smooth voice.

* * *

"Cloud's here, Cloud's here!"

The little children skit across the floor, one falling face first in front of the other. The happy smile on their faces was one of the things that stuck on Cloud's mind, one of the things that forced him to keep going when all he wanted to do was _forget._

"Now, now, don't crowd over him! He's one man only!"

Tifa was wiping down the counter when he came in, her saucy but nurturing brown eyes focused on him.

The blonde struggled to pass through the front doors without knocking over a kid. He ruffled Denzel's hair and bent over to pull Marlene in his arms.

"Hey… Miss me?"

They immediately nodded and hugged him so tightly around his neck, he struggled to get air in. He coughed and chuckled, standing up.

"You guys grew. Especially you Denzel, I thought Marlene was the one to give death hugs."

The little boy stuck his tongue out at Cloud. He did mature while he was gone, a few inches to his height but his body shrunk away the child's fat and replaced it with lean muscles.

"And you've grown too. I guess you gained back all that weight you lost dilly-dallying?"

Cloud had to smile at that, the woman knew just what to do to lift his spirits up.

"Yeah, I guess so."

It was hard enough hauling boxes and sleeping on _Fenrir_ , he didn't want the evidence of his hardship showing _that_ much.

"But I've noticed Denzel grew some. How'd you get it, kid?"

"Well…"

The little boy crossed his arms behind his back and looked away, his gaze traveling to Marlene.

Suddenly the look on both of their faces confused the man.

"Is there something I don't know about?"

What could they be _possibly_ doing at this age? Denzel was a toothpick the last time I saw him, what caused him to be _this_ mature?

Before Marlene could answer, Tifa spoke up before any of the two could answer.

"Barrett took him on a few missions out of town. Just a few menial tasks, nothing serious."

 _That_ , was what struck the blonde.

"Missions? He let you go with him?"

"Yeah, he let me and Marlene go!"

Cloud looked at Tifa stunned.

"Didn't you think he would get hurt?"

"All he had to do was haul boxes Cloud, nothing happened."

Cloud opened his mouth and was about to answer but then his cellphone rang, piercing through their conversation.

Of course it was odd Cloud getting calls which didn't have his usual ringtone but it was _incredibly strange_ for him to get calls from a private number.

This earned looks from everyone in the room, even Cloud down to his phone.

Of course Cloud couldn't just _leave_ it so he reached into his pocket and answered, swallowing thickly.

"Hello?"

" _Cloud Strife, is this you? Please tell me this is him, you don't know how awkward it would be if you aren't._ "

A light female voice asked, almost nervously.

"Yeah, this is him. Who are you?"

Tifa stopped wiping down cups and leaned her weight against the counter.

" _Oh you haven't heard of me, I don't know why Tseng would make me out of all people to call you but my name is Elena. Do you know me?_ "

Tseng?

"Yeah, I do."

The lady behind the phone gasped and spoke again, this time much more faster.

" _Oh good cause I was getting worried, you know, it's weird enough calling you, I mean you hate Shinra, I don't know why you would help-"_

"Just get to the point."

Marlene tilted her head to the side, almost cutely. Denzel just crossed his arms.

" _Well it has to do with that Sephiroth case months ago, I think you remember that, right? Well uh one of them is back and we just kinda need help…_ "

Something behind her voice indicated she knew more than that but Cloud didn't mention it. All he thought about was why Shinra wanted his help _again._

 _But Sephiroth?_

"Not-what? Sephiroth?"

That prompted Tifa to lift up her head, a shocked expression on her face. The kids instantly paled, their legs quivered.

" _Yeah uh… It's hard to explain. The president wants to see you at Healen Lodge, like last time."_

The blonde said nothing, just heard her blank words seep into his head.

" _Uhh… You still there?"_

The awkward tone shook the ex-merc back to reality. He grunted and ended the call, already feeling Tifa's eyes bore into him.

"I've got something to do. I'm sorry-"

"Sephiroth's back?"

Marlene tugged on his black cape, prompting the man to look down at her.

Tears pooled around her brown eyes, her skin white with fear. He sniffed, instantly wiping her eyes and hugged around Cloud's leg.

"I don't want Sephiroth to come back! Send him back Cloud, send him back!"

Her voice squeaked, her body shaking.

"I know Marlene, I promise I'll send him-"

"But you have to kill him for real this time, please just send him back!"

She wept into his leg, staining his pants with tears. Denzel bent over and pulled her away, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"C'mon Marlene, he'll send him back! Cloud always saves the day, doesn't he?"

The little girl tilted her head up, wiping her nose.

"Yeah…"

She weakly answered and shook again, another wave of tears coming.

"But what if he does something again, I don't want-"

Cloud patted her head, bending over and took the both of them in his arms.

"Hey, hey, I promise I'll keep you two safe. I'll keep all of you safe."

He really believed that. He had to.

"I promise."

He whispered. The little girl pulled away and nodded, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you, Cloud."

The blonde nodded and stood up, brushing the dust off his knees.

Tifa hadn't swept the place in a long time. Maybe the stress of Cloud being safe and the balance of the world constantly changing was weighing her down.

All he knew was that he felt the same way.

"I'll be back soon. Be safe Tifa."

He waved at her, the woman doing the same.

There was something different about her, the way her face instantly dropped when she saw him walking, the way she effortlessly waved, the way she just mumbled something under her breath when he left.

Maybe she was getting tired.

Cloud was getting tired too.

* * *

"Stop! Leave me alone!"

A little girl pushed against the man, her doll falling from her hands.

"Aw, a moogle? That's cute, you're really cute, you know."

The middle aged man cornered the little girl against the wall, her sniffles heard from the other side.

"Leave me alone! Let me go!"

She tried to push past him but he was like an iron wall. He clenched his fist around her arm, pinning her on the wall.

"Now why would I do that? Girls like you are hard to find, especially ones that look like lambs…"

His dirty hand touched her face, causing her to recoil in disgust.

"Help! Help me!"

She screamed until her mouth was covered by his hand.

"Don't scream and all this will be over soon. I expect you to be tight you know. I love girls like that."

He chuckled darkly, his beard scratching her face. The man struggled to untie his belt.

The little girl screamed against his hand, struggling. Tears stained her face, punching his shoulders. She closed her legs tightly, but the man somehow managed to spread them again.

"Oh you're the most beautiful-"

A glow appeared to his right and the man just had a split second before his body slumped to the floor. He groaned and tried to stand up, but felt a strong foot sharply force him down on the ground.

"Why you filthy-"

Before he could reach his knife, a black leathered boot crushed his hand in the pavement. Another sharp kick was delivered to his jaw.

"Quite ironic, isn't it? Filth compared to a dirt covered man. I prefer to use the term 'pitiful'."

 _That voice…_

Another kick. This time it landed on his chest, knocking the air out of him.

The girl picked up her moogle doll and ran away, hiding behind a dumpster.

"Please don't-"

A foot collided with his face, his head forced to snapped up, catching a glimpse of long silver locks.

"An innocent little girl loses her innocence by a man who can't keep his desires at bay. Isn't his familiar?"

The man spat on the ground, trying to pick himself up but couldn't. The sharp heel dug into his lower back.

"Please…"

"You make me sick."

The man stepped on the back of his neck, slowly pressing down. Pain shot down his spine. He let out an agonizing scream, literally feeling his skull crush under his foot.

"P-Please, help me… I'll do anything, please don't hurt me…"

Suddenly he felt the foot alleviate, letting the man breathe. He panted harshly into the ground, scrambling up so he could run.

"Thank you, thank you so much-"

What he didn't expect was staring down at the bottom of a barreled gun.

"No, no, please-"

He finally got a full frontal view of the man. Long silver hair cascaded down his back, white bangs covered his face. He thought he was staring at a woman but the lack of breasts distinguished himself from them. His green catlike eyes menacingly glowed down at him, his lips turned up in a smirk, then a sneer.

"Disgusting."

An ear splitting gunshot bounced the wall, stopping time for seconds before resuming, the fallout of sounds still heavy in the air.

The girl hugged her knees to her chest and whimpered, glancing behind her. She saw no one there and sniffled, picking herself up. She wobbled towards the trashcan and tried to find her shoe.

She would _never ever_ leave the house without telling Tifa.

Denzel and her got into an argument over something stupid, something that she knew wasn't important and in a last minute decision she ran away.

 _Why did she do that?_

Denzel must be worried _sick_ about her. He actually did care for her like he did with Marlene but recently her chest filled with joy and happiness whenever he was around.

 _Why did she run away?_

The girl lifted up bags, trying to find a white shoe that fell off her foot when the man…

The man. Where was he?

The girl just noticed he wasn't anywhere at all, not even a bloodstain was near.

 _Did that man kill him?_

The girl knew she saw those silver locks somewhere but she knew it couldn't be _that_ man.

She eventually tired and gave up, turning her back and was about to head home. She had another pair already.

"Is this your shoe?"

The smooth voice stunned her for a second, prompting her to whirl around.

She dropped her doll at the sight of _him._ The man that hurt Denzel.

He was just _standing there_ holding her shoe with one finger and resting his palm on his hip with another. His blank green eyes stared, cupid bow curved lips smirking.

"There's no need to be afraid, he's dead. I took care of him, see?"

He pointed to the dumpster next to the girl.

She noticed something hanging off the edge of the corner.

The girl bit her lip and shook with fear, approaching the dumpster.

White skin was tainted with sanguine liquid, dripping… Dripping…

She gasped, falling backwards. She picked up her moogle toy, sprinting away. Anything was better than facing _him_ again.

* * *

Yazoo sighed and for the first time shown something on his usual blank face, something unpleasant bubbling in his chest.

 _Why is she still afraid of me?_

He was sorry for what he did to the children months ago, he was still reminded of their pitiful faces and their hope filled eyes.

 _If only Mother didn't ask me to do that…_

But the thing was, Mother _didn't_ ask him.

She asked Kadaj.

And Kadaj asked him. Well more like _ordered_ him to do it but he digressed.

 _Why did he even_ _ **do**_ _that?_

He had all the power in the world to say _no,_ he was the same as Kadaj, a puzzle piece.

 _A damn puzzle piece._

Yazoo snapped himself out of his thoughts, muttering something under his breath.

 _What was he supposed to do now?_

He felt like this when he was abandoned in the lifestream.

One year ago and Mother still didn't take him back.

Loz and him didn't even have a minute to recover in there, they didn't even have a _second_ to see the woman that was cradling Kadaj.

Just as they entered, they were kicked out.

 _Now what were we supposed to do?_

Jenova was gone, Sephiroth was gone, Kadaj was gone.

 _What was the point?_

It didn't help either that Reno still regarded him as Sephiroth, it didn't help that Shinra thought he was a ticking time bomb, about to explode.

 _I'm nothing like that monster._

Every damn time Yazoo stared in the mirror, he saw _Him_ looking back.

The way his silk locks fell over his shoulder, the way his green eyes seemed to glow. His slim figure was curved perfectly by the hips, his long creamy legs made any woman jealous.

Sometimes he thought that he was just created for sex.

Even Reno stared at his body too long. He swore he saw him bite his lip once.

But Reno was just interested in his body. Nothing more.

 _What am I worth anymore?_

 _Am I just a joke?_

The remnant kicked a rock, hearing it bounce off the brick wall and tumble away. At the sound of that, he was reminded of that lady who cradled Kadaj.

 _How come_ _ **she**_ _entered and stayed but I didn't?_

Yazoo swore he was going to find a way back and _stay_ but he just didn't know how.

And it all occurred to him that Yazoo knew _her_ name, the one Cloud loved. But he didn't know how. He didn't even recall meeting her except in the lifestream but that was just a second.

Who _is_ Aerith?

 _How the hell do I even know her?_

He felt like he met her once, touched her, knew what she smelled like, knew how her voice sounded. He knew that her hand fit perfectly in his, knew that she took showers twice a day, knew that she prayed a lot.

But _where?_

Yazoo sighed and put the shoe back in his pocket, turning around to head back home. His boots splashed puddles on the ground.

But first he needed to do something…

* * *

 _Read and review!_


	4. IV

**_DISCLAIMER: FINAL FANTASY AND ITS COMPONENTS DO NOT BELONG - I swear to god - TO ME._  
**

* * *

"Get yourself together, kid. The next sandstorm is coming."

Rikku, the elderly lady that was in charge of this _camp_ that Kadaj was stuck in, kicked his leg. The remnant popped a green eye open.

"Go away."

The stubborn boy wrapped an arm around a bundle of clothes, laying his head in the middle.

He knew that annoying girl - which was literally Yuffie standing in front of him - constantly tried to teach him out to use Materia but he knew enough.

"So you're gonna stay behind while sand just eats you all up?"

The elder carried a satchel full of tools and rations in one hand, almost like it was weighing it down. Her green eyes seemed to deepen in color, her facial expression one of fatigue laced with concern.

 _Why does she even care?_

"I don't care."

His back was still turned to her, his lithe body bent over a wooden desk.

The woman sighed and lifted up the cloth, mumbling under her breath.

"Suit yourself."

After Kadaj heard the familiar beads landing on the floor, he brushed silver strands out of his face, looking in her direction.

 _I just want to be left alone. Why does she even bother?_

He didn't care if he sunk in quicksand, swallowed up by the earth as he choked on sand.

He didn't care if he was left alone in the tent and a bandit raid swept by to take them all.

He didn't care if by some miracle Rikku kicked him out and he was forced to fend for himself.

In all honesty if Rikku gave him a sword to defend himself, he would just sink the blade into his chest.

Or if Rikku threw him out with no sword, no food, and no water, he would purposely starve himself. If it was possible for a remnant to die like that.

 _Brother killed me like he would kill anyone else, of course it's possible I'll starve to death._

"Hey Cat, at least throw some cover over yourself. Death by sand isn't exactly enjoyable."

Her permanent sarcastic voice seemed to seep into the tent, vaguely missing Kadaj.

"I'll take my chances."

He mumbled, shutting his eyes and just focused on the dense air that floated around him, the language of the children that he still didn't understand and the ever so constant presence of the woman outside of his tent.

Of course he should be out there looking for Mother but he had nothing to go out with. All of his powers he possessed before, all of the powers that Loz and Yazoo were jealous of were gone.

It was like Gaia threw him out clean, like she was throwing out a saint from heaven.

Although Kadaj was anything else but a saint.

"Isn't there anything that makes you happy?"

The elder walked in, spinning around threads around her wrist. For a second Kadaj wondered if it would snap her wrist.

"Not really."

Rikku rolled her eyes, letting out a big sigh.

"Kids these days- What about _machina_? Ever tried that?"

The youngest remnant thought for a bit. He brushed his smooth hair in front of his eye, sitting up.

"What's that?"

"You see those big machines outside? You get to learn how to operate and control them. Wanna try?"

Her voice contained something positive, something _hopeful_. It's like she wanted to lift him out of this depression and give him back the spitfire he possessed.

But still, how is that going to bring back Mother?

"Not interested."

He muttered. His fingers tightened around the bundle.

 _Just leave me alone._

"You gotta do something."

Even though Kadaj couldn't see, he could tell she had her hands on her hips.

"I am doing something. I'm not attacking you, which is a miracle."

Towards the end, he sneered.

"A miracle indeed. Tell me, didn't your momma ever tell you to be nice or something?"

What she didn't expect was a knife thrown at her direction which she dodged on instinct.

" _Don't talk about Mother!"_

Kadaj stood up, knocking the chair over.

" _If another word falls past your lips about her, I'll make sure you'll rot in the sand!_ "

He shouted, his fists clenching by his side. His green eyes burned with rage, emotions threatening to spill over.

By now the elder could tell that before he landed here he went through harsh times but there was something _else_ buried under there, under all that rage.

 _Something so lost, so long ago…_

"Your mother was a kind woman, wasn't she?"

Rikku crossed her arms, facial expression lax despite the raging psychotic brat in front of her.

"A kind woman to others. But I see how she raised you, how you were born to be. I see the hate inside of you, a natural born killer."

Kadaj had enough. He whipped out another knife and sped up to her, swinging his blade. A satisfying swipe down and all this is over.

But she was still standing.

Her firm grip around his wrist brought him back to reality, his menacing green eyes flaring.

"So what if I am-"

"I bet your mother was a saint to others but when she got home, she was the meanest demon you ever saw. I bet she beat you even when you tried so hard to make it right."

Kadaj lifted up a foot and pushed her back so hard, she fell against the curtain and nearly took it down.

He felt so _angry_ , so _infuriated_ with this damn old hag _._ Mother was the thing that kept him alive all this time, Mother was the reason why he was sent back so he could try again.

 _How dare she open her mouth and say that_?

"Shut up! Mother loved us all!"

He shouted, raising up a fist to slam her down. But, as usual, his fist was met with sand.

"Quick to defend are you, Cat? Did _she_ defend _you_ when you were knocked down? Beaten and bruised, starving out in the desert? Where was your momma then?"

 _She couldn't have said that, she couldn't…_

The remnant swung the knife with whatever strength he had. Why was he so weak?

Rikku used this advantage to kick him in the abdomen, grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm. She pinned him to the cushion, pressing his arm painfully in his back.

"And you know what else I think?"

She sneered, squeezed around his wrist. Kadaj scowled and wiggled under her grasp, hating how his muscles were numb and feeling like there was thousands of tiny needles stabbing him in the legs.

 _Shut up…_

"I bet that there was someone else in the house that she loved more than you. I bet her gaze melted when she looked at them but when she looked at you…"

 _No…_

Kadaj's eyes shot open, his rage piling down to denial.

" _No that's not true…"_

 _Sephiroth…_

Her serene voice whistled in his ears, picturing her pale arms holding him close to her bosom.

But then when she looked at _Kadaj…_

"Your mother was a saint in their eyes but in your eyes she was a perfect nightmare."

 _No…_

Flashes of memories filled his head, the tranquility of her voice mocking him.

It was so unfair, it was just so _unfair…_

"Stop…"

All he wanted was to be noticed by her, all he wanted was to have a mother who treated her child like she was about to lose him everyday.

He brought her son back, helped spread a disease that nearly took the life on almost everyone on the planet, nearly tore the _whole world_ in half…

And all he was met was this?

Not even a pat on the back?

Not even an _I love you_?

Kadaj didn't know when but Rikku's grip was gone, her fingers just touching his arms.

His eyes filled with tears, unshed tears that he held back for so long. His body shuddered, emotions running rampant throughout his body.

He choked on his breath.

"All I wanted… Was t-to be a good son…"

He coughed, tears wetting the blanket.

"I did all she wanted and even brought back the son she loved most… But t-that's not… Enough?"

He could still hear the soothing voice in his head.

"I never once got an 'I love you', all I wanted was to hear that but she doesn't even do that! I just wanted to be a better son, a better brother, but no!"

He wept into the sheets, raw emotion pouring out of him.

"She doesn't care, she just doesn't care…"

 _She never did._

Kadaj didn't register what happened as Rikku got off and gently helped him sit up, tears falling down his chin. He felt a soft cushion against his head, scented oils meeting his nose.

Right now he didn't care that he was pressed against her chest, he didn't care that her lithe wrinkled fingers threaded his hair, he didn't care that she was mumbled something under her breath as she rested her chin on his head.

The strange warmth in his chest and the foreign feelings of comfort oddly made him weep more.

"Maybe she didn't care at all. Maybe all she wanted was to see if you were faithful."

Those words oddly weighed in sympathy, _too much_ sympathy.

"Mother is God in the eyes of a child."

* * *

"Is there a reason you called me here or it because you just wanted to see me?"

Cloud stood over the desk, looking aptly bored and somewhat bothered. His blonde hair was messy as usual and the usual black attire he wore was groomed and kept in place despite his trips to the desert.

Rufus Shinra was seated rather snugly behind his desk, his leg crossed over the other. His hair was neatly groomed, his pristine suit looked like it was recently folded and his skin was bursting with softness. He was sporting the same bored expression as Cloud, only a smirk was dancing on his lips.

Tseng was standing next to him, almost resembling the same status but something else was irking him inside.

"Why yes Cloud, of course we wanted to see you. We also have a few tasks at hand-"

"Not interested."

"How about a few gils-"

"Not. Interested."

Cloud cut off Rufus the moment he brought up certain kinds of 'tasks'. Well of course he was going to deny, it was marvelously Cloud after all.

"I see. Well now that the offer is out of the way… Tseng, show him the pictures."

The Wutaian nodded, his expression blank and serious but Cloud could tell there was something else tugging at his sleeve.

"We monitor these camps around the desert because their people are the only ones who strangely have no effect on Mako, therefore they won't react when they touch Materia and Mako alike. They live near the mines and we pay them so they can trade with us."

Tseng watched Cloud skim over the pictures from the droid cameras. He swore he saw his eyes flicker at one particular photo.

The photo was black and white but it was obvious the teenager staring blankly to the side was Kadaj. His eyes seemed to glow despite how dark the photo was and the short shoulder length silver hair fell in front of his face, almost beautifully. Cloud expected him to be angry or smiling madly but he was just sitting there solemnly. As if he just gave up on life and had nothing else to live for, much less do.

The people in front of the photo was working on something on the side, one of the guys had a full body suit and was bent over the hood of a machine that resembled an automobile but more advanced than they have now.

Children buried their hands in the sand, oblivious to the searing hot weather,

And all Kadaj did was just sit there on a barrel and watch them.

The same miserable but gorgeous face was just so melancholic, Cloud actually felt his heart pulling strings.

"There's this one camp that's far from the reactors but they live under a Materia cave. And they're different from the rest of the camps, this one is Al Bhed. Do you know about them?"

The Turk knocked him back and tilted his head a little bit, almost like a child.

Cloud shook his head.

"Not really. Just read about them in books, didn't really know they existed."

"Then you know they can make machines much more stronger than ours? They can make robots, almost like real people but they have a whole new different system."

When he sensed Cloud wasn't paying attention, he sighed.

"The point is, it's no surprise that someone from the Lifestream can end up near one of these places. And this happened to be…"

Tseng laid a finger on the picture that Cloud laid conveniently in front of Rufus.

"One of the remnants of Sephiroth. And the ringleader of them all, Kadaj."

Cloud stared at the photo silently, frowning. It's not that one of the remnants of Sephiroth were back, Kadaj just happened to pop out of the Lifestream but the fact that he seemed _different_.

The remnant was supposed to stand up and yell at everyone, shout at random kids and demand them where Mother was, throw a tantrum if no one knew and kill everyone in the camp out of anger.

But he was just _sitting there…_

"Cloud, we must have him here in two days. Who knows what he'll be doing during that."

 _Something tells me he won't be doing much…_

"Alright."

The Turk's eyes shot open for a second out of surprise and Rufus just hummed, uncrossing his legs.

"You'll do it?"

Tseng asked, his tone full of surprise.

Rufus rose a brow and looked up at the Wutaian, his eyes glimmered and for a second he saw them shift.

"I'll think about it."

Cloud muttered, feeling the atmosphere change drastically. He snatched the photo off of his desk and turned around to leave.

"What are you going to do once you have him?"

The blonde tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes locked on them.

"Well, we'll lock him up. Keep him away for good. We wouldn't want him to destroy the planet again, after all that we did to save her."

Cloud nodded, twisting the doorknob slowly. He couldn't help but feel something was off about them.

Maybe they just changed. They felt bad for what they did years ago that made the planet like this so they rebuilt.

Little did they know, they're just gonna do what the old Shinra did.

Cloud left the two men standing there behind the desk, Tseng averting his gaze and Rufus reaching for a cigarette.

* * *

"Sir, are we _really_ going to imprison Kadaj?"

The Turk looked at Rufus, completely overwhelmed.

It wasn't usual for a Turk to get _this_ nervous but this was _Sephiroth's remnants_ they were talking about.

Yazoo and Loz weren't a worry since they already proven faith and trust in the company but even then they were hanging their doubts on a thread.

The only reason Yazoo didn't put Rufus or Tseng's head on a pike was because they swore they wouldn't lay a finger on Loz. And even though he still mistrusted them, Loz was constantly surveillanced by Rude. So even if the two men wasn't doing their duty, the tan skinned Turk certainly was.

And to make sure that Yazoo wasn't planning on something, Reno was in charge of watching him. But even then there was still animosity between the two, even if it was very subtle. Something happened between the two, and it wasn't the fight in Midgar a year back.

But whenever the remnant was in trouble or his life was slowly ebbing away, Reno was always there for him.

However now that they found out about Kadaj suddenly appearing, they were going to act on one code they formed silently:

Family first.

"Tseng don't get so preoccupied with this, Yazoo and Loz will be away on a mission. And if Cloud brings him back while they're here, well…"

He shrugged, lighting up the cigarette in his hand.

"They are human now. Jenova is gone from their bloodstream. They're easier than before to eliminate."

 _Eliminate?_

"Sir, you can't be…"

The Wutaian didn't show it but he was deathly scared inside. He couldn't let the remnants die, they were still a valuable asset.

"We did pledge to not lay a finger on them both, right? That was when they were still powerful, the influence on the Lifestream was still in their veins. Now that they're fully human - _evident to what happened with Loz on his last mission_ \- they can't do anything say we… Break the promise."

The blonde was completely stoic when he explained, the cigarette still lit as he started signing papers.

Tseng swallowed thickly, a bead of sweat forming on his forehead.

As much as he tried so hard to deny it, he couldn't help but see his father taking over the President. All of the riches were now available to him, the world was repairing and people were getting happy.

It was only a matter of time before Rufus just took it all. Just like that _son of a bitch._

"Sir, you can't-"

"And who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?"

Tseng himself was taken aback by the sudden remark, his eyes shooting open just for a little bit.

"Your shield, sir."

"And you are just a shield. Shields can't talk, they just cover. And they go wherever their master takes them. Now please, don't you have a task to do?"

He was shocked that the man would lash out, especially towards _him._

The Turk he entrusted his life upon.

The Turk that took a bullet for him.

The Turk that would still take bullets and bullets if it meant he would be safe.

 _Now all this wasted time…_

"Of course. I apologize, sir."

He averted his gaze and clenched his fists, taking the clipboard off of the desk. He felt emotions racing, piling up, bursting in his body and the two words he uttered throughout all his life was just… Fading away. To the back of his mind, unable to hear anymore.

 _Calm down…_

The blonde stared down at the paper, the sound of writing on board stopped a while ago. Now it was just silence. The cigarette that he lit not too long ago was in the ashtray.

Tseng turned his back and for a split second hoped Rufus would beckon him over or at least mutter an apology.

But no. That's not what his father would've done.

"I'll be at my desk if you need me."

He swallowed, a lump in his throat as he turned his head.

 _Come on, say something…_

Nothing.

The Wutaian gripped the doorknob and opened the door a little bit too quick. He shut it, leaving a mirror image of the former president in the room.

He really hoped it but he swore he caught Rufus cover his face.


	5. V

**_DISCLAIMER: go back to ch.1_**

* * *

Cloud stared long and hard at the picture on his desk. The black and white photo that seemed to take up most of his life.

Why was he even obsessed with a damn _photo_? Most importantly, why was he obsessed with finding the last piece of _Sephiroth_?

Hell, he knew that he needed to bring in Kadaj, who knew when the brat was going to blow up.

He knew Kadaj deserved endless abuse my Shinra, deserved to be turned into one of their freak creations, deserved to be tested on every day and every hour.

But was it fair?

 _Fair is foul and foul is fair._

He recalled he read this ancient play that was written by a playwright so long ago. A hero who fell from grace and became a ruthless villain all because of some prophecy that he'll conquer many lands. He murdered his friends, slaughtered families and eventually he met his own demise by an ordinary noble man. A man who was fueled on revenge.

For some reason he couldn't help but feel like plays took on real life forms.

"Fair is foul and foul is fair…"

He tapped on Kadaj's solemn face, the face that lit up after a good slaughter, a smile that brightened with madness after deception, green eyes that burned with jealousy.

Yet all that's reduced to is a depressed boy who's got no direction in life.

He really shouldn't stare at this photo for too long.

The children who were giggling, their laughs sounding like bells.

The mechanics that sweat like madmen under the suit.

The grumpy man who's in charge of feeding the chocobo's.

And then one teenager who fell from grace.

It was all too familiar, Cloud couldn't get it out of his head.

 _Fair is foul and foul is fair._

The blonde stood up, pocketing the photo and set out to Cid's where the man could help him give directions to the camp.

And maybe stop by Vincent's.

 _Something evil this way comes…_

* * *

"You got any leads? The guys been behind his desk all day…"

Reno whispered to Elena who shrugged but he could tell it was bothering her too.

"Well Tseng _is_ a busy man…"

"Yeah but not too busy when Rufus calls, yo?"

The redhead watched the Wutaian sign papers and scribble down on lines being heard from behind the door.

"God it's just like the President…"

"At least the president knew when to stop."

The silver haired clone with a smooth voice caught both of their attention, his back turned to them but it was obvious he heard what was going on.

"Maybe he had a fight with Rufus? Who knows…"

Yazoo wrote in a little green notebook he kept in Reno's desk. It was full of scribbles and drawings, most of it was stuff Reno didn't bother on translating. He figured it was just math.

But the thing was, the Turk nearly got his fingers cut off when he tried to write in it.

"So you think Rufus and Tseng do more stuff behind those doors? Wouldn't surprise me, yo."

"Maybe. Tseng doesn't get upset. If something happened, it's because of him."

The clone brushed strands of hair behind his ear, circling letters under lines and erasing symbols.

"And how do you know that?"

It was Elena's turn to talk. All she ever did was add on to what Reno said or, by some miracle, she pointed out things she caught onto even though everyone else has.

"Have you seen what he acts like around his presence? Tseng is normally stoic, nothing breaks him down and nothing comes between him and his job. But around Rufus, his world suddenly shifts."

 _One scratch down in the middle, a curve encircling the 'y'._

"Even Loz could notice something like that."

"Wha- _hey!_ "

She punched Yazoo lightly in the shoulder, the edge of the clone's lips turned up in a smirk.

"Sometimes I truly do wonder…"

' _Y' is questioned by 'E' even though 'E' isn't equal to 'X'._

Reno reached for a cigarette, honestly bored. It was supposed to be lunch break and yet he could hear Loz's obnoxious laughter. He just knew Rude was in the room, without him the older clone would've just ate and poked Yazoo around.

"When is he giving us our damn missions, yo? I finished my sandwich an hour ago."

The Turk grumbled, patting his pockets for a lighter.

 _Gaia, can't they get bigger pockets?_

It was a bad day he couldn't get his lighter, it was worse when he discovered his _wet._ And sticking like a _hospital._

"How in the hell…"

"I figured toilet water could damage a lighter, never knew antiseptic alcohol would destroy one."

Yazoo scribbled into the notebook, completely nonchalant about Reno possibly flipping shit right now.

"You little _-_ you _knew_ my lighter fell down the drain? Why didn't you say anything?!"

 _XEM is crossed with EFR which forms a clear word in another dimension…_

Yazoo was too concentrated in his work to say anything, his eyes blank as he followed the patterns.

 _In another dimension EFR is parallel to AER which intercepts with A, which brings us to square one…_

"Are you listening to me, yo?"

 _One scratch down the middle, paired with 'Y'... 'Y' and 'E'..._

"Hey! _"_

' _E' isn't equal to 'X' but… Oh, there's a 'C'-_

A tap on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts and just now Yazoo could hear angry mumbles under Reno's breath. When he turned his head, Elena smiled nervously.

"Just knocking you back before Reno… Loses his temper."

The remnant just now trailed his eyes to the redhead who was internally fuming.

"Is he that upset his lighter doesn't work? He could buy another one, it's just 10 Gil in a convenience store somewhere…"

He closed his green notebook and stood up, brushing his long hair out of his face.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a job to do…"

He went through his desk, rummaging through all of the bounty papers Tseng gave him and found a suitable one.

It wasn't really suitable, more like nostalgic.

"Don Corneo? I feel like I heard him before…"

He glanced at Elena and watched her shudder.

"I take it you knew him?"

He noticed how both Reno and Elena changed drastically, Reno even more angrier and Elena just pale.

"More than enough. That son of a bitch collected girls, just used them and dumped them wherever he could. God knows how much young girls were collected off the streets and thrown in trash cans, yo."

The Turk scowled, just setting on nibbling the end of his cigarette.

"And we had to keep him alive 'cause he gave intel on how the slums were doing. That no good perverted prick, I should've cut off his dick. Can't get girls without that, yo."

Reno stood up, as if to clear his head and left the room. Yazoo caught sight of Elena and noticed her paling more and more, wondering if he was getting sick.

He couldn't blame them, rage was pooling up in his stomach. The thought that the _Turks_ \- not really since they covered up much of Shinra's doing, and not much were very beneficial - but the fact that they were supposed to _protect_ the public to a degree and yet they had this disgusting man in charge of the slums because of _information._

"Why didn't you?"

The clone asked the woman, her hands shaking in front of her before taking a deep breath and calming down.

"B-Because he wouldn't tell us anymore. So w-we had to… Keep him alive… And even now, we had too… Until he…"

Her voice trembled, and from where he could standing, he could hear her stomach churning.

"E-Excuse me…"

She stood up, almost running to the women's bathroom around the corner.

 _This guy…_

Yazoo personally hated guys like these, he hated men who's big enough ego damaged others. He personally just wanted to come up to them and watch their ego fall apart, showing the coward underneath.

 _They make me sick…_

Elena had enough of this guy, he just knew it. He knew what their faces looked like after the deed, knowing they thought they were filthy.

After having his hands all over your skin, who knew what they did last time. And knowing you couldn't stop it, knowing you tried to tell them but your cries were unheard…

He thought back to the moogle girl, how she retreated to Denzel right after she was touched, how much she cried and wanted to erase everything. He knew she must've taken multiple showers, trying to wash off the filthy touches.

 _I wonder how he likes his meat, burnt or grilled…_

He folded the bounty neatly, placing it in his front pocket. Bounties he highlighted important were placed in his front pocket, where the edge of the paper nudged into his breast so he'll be constantly reminded.

 _I'll make sure those girls jump for joy, wherever they are._

 _I like making people happy._

* * *

"Thanks, Cid."

"And get that vampire out of his coffin, will ya? God damn it, he hasn't answered my calls!"

Cid grumbled under his breath, lifted up the hood of the car and replaced the oil.

"I don't know why the hell he doesn't get a new phone, dear Gaia, fucking answer already!"

The man huffed, replacing the old worn out parts with the new ones.

Cloud finally got information where Kadaj was and - _thanks to modern technology -_ knew a shortcut so he didn't have to cut through the harsh winds of the desert.

"Maybe he's busy Cid."

The blonde folded the coordinates in his pocket, turning to leave.

"Yeah, of course he is. As always."

The engineer grumbled, snapping an old part out of place. For some reason Cloud knew something was going on between him and Vincent but didn't bother to know. In his eyes Cid was as straight as a ruler and Vincent didn't bother with love anymore.

 _They could just be friends with benefits…_

The ex-SOLDIER grimaced at the thought and walked out of the building, heading to _Fenrir_ waiting outside.

 _Remind me again why I'm getting a piece of Sephiroth to Shinra? The worst piece of all?_

Oh wait. The public's safety and possibly a load of cash.

The ex-merc knew what had to be done so he just did it. That's what he did multiple times, he tried to find wrong in something, and measured how wrong it was.

Say, Shinra using Gaia's energy in the past. It wasn't a bother to him in the past, it didn't really matter if the planet was dying. Now it's mostly his concern.

Now this was what he had to do.

Cloud sat down on the bike and cocked the ignition, speeding down the long, barren path.

* * *

 _I just don't understand, how in the hell can he survive out here?_

The ex-merc wasn't outside for too long but now he could feel the sun sizzling into his skin. He wore the same outfit a year ago since it was comfortable but now he got rid of the trousers and settled for something less warmer but firm.

However he really did make a mistake going in _black_ clothes.

 _Kadaj must be wearing something black too, he doesn't look like the type to wear colors._

But why was he questioning Kadaj's style?

 _Whatever, I just don't know anymore._

Cloud couldn't say he developed feelings for the remnant, it was so farfetched it wasn't even funny, but the way the teen actually considered him his _brother…_

Cloud had his own family, his mother, his father _which he never saw once in his entire life,_ and Tifa, who could be considered a sister.

As long as the blonde knew, his family was the one in Nibelheim. Not the monster that Kadaj considered his _mother_.

 _I wonder if Kadaj ever had a real mother… What am I saying, he's only been alive for two weeks. And he's just a piece, so it doesn't count._

But Sephiroth is considered his creator, or at least a piece of Sephiroth. So he is partially Sephiroth, just not the complete package.

 _So who gave birth to Sephiroth?_

Whomever it was, it mustn't been important then. Sephiroth himself told him that he was raised in a facility all his life, and the scientist there, Hojo, told him that he _did_ have a mother but it wasn't important.

And even if he did find out who his mother was, it wouldn't make a difference. Whether his mother was human or a test subject, it wouldn't matter. The man considered Jenova his real mother, not the one who gave birth to him.

 _It's sad, wasn't it?_

An alien life form, the one parasite that leeched off the planet all those years ago… And Sephiroth just chose to fulfill Mother's wish and become a god.

Sometimes power did take a person down. And all it needed was the person's mind.

Forget about his looks and his strength. All Sephiroth was, was a puppet. The very thing Cloud was. The thing all the SOLDIERS were. All the Turks were.

They were all pawns on a chessboard.

And when the pawns find out they're being controlled, they turn others into pawns. And those pawns turn others. And others after that.

Cloud brushed sand off his face, the heat searing down on him. His bike started to wobble when he hit solid ground, knowing that he was nearly there.

 _Wonder how big the cave is._

The blonde sped up, making sure to stay on somewhere solid. He eventually caught sight of a camp in the distance and flags perched on the outside.

 _Is this the right camp?_

He sped up even more, just wanting this endless long journey over. He nibbled on his lip, kneading it between his teeth.

 _I just hope they don't shoot me on the spot._

The blonde eventually parked the bike against a rock, hopping off of it. He saw many people run around and fixing their tents - _which were rather beautiful, not gonna lie_ \- and androids beeping around, following their masters. He was rather surprised that what Tseng said was true, these people knew how to bring robots to life, but the amount of _knowledge_ these people had…

Cloud got a few strange looks from the people, their clothing looked drastically different from his since they wore mostly colors. Some people even had full body suits on - _which is surprising, even in this weather_. The odd thing was, they _all_ had blonde hair and green eyes. _Everyone._ He could see people staring and wondered if they thought he was a Shinra trader.

The man wanted to know who was the leader of this place, yet he didn't want to draw attention to himself.

 _Must be pretty hard in a place like this._

"Hey, excuse me? Can I speak to your leader?"

Cloud asked a man who was at a local stand polishing a cup and setting what looked like to be alcohol bottles down on a table.

The man seemed to mumble something under his breath and Cloud had no idea what he said.

"Excuse me?"

He rose a brow and the man finally looked up from under his goggles.

"You wanna talk to our leader? Don't ask for Materia. We're getting it slow."

"I'm not from Shinra."

The man rose a brow and took a good hard look at Cloud before shaking his head.

"Either way you won't be staying long."

They had some sort of accent which the ex-merc never heard before. Not only that but their eyes were different than what he'd seen, they had some sort of spiral in them.

 _Where did these people come from?_

"She just left out on an expedition. You can wait in there while she's gone. Be careful, she has a bad temper."

Cloud nodded to him and turned to leave. He passed by a couple of children who buried themselves in sand and mechanics who did the same,, only with machines.

 _If Cid came here, he'll never leave._

Cloud walked down a narrow brushed stone path with hardened sand and rusty tools which were thrown about. He stood in front of a big tent full of colors and feathers and lifted up the curtain.

"Hello? Is anyone in here?"

He called and furrowed his brow, wondering why someone was shifting inside when the guy told him that the leader wasn't here.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I'll come-"

Then, at that moment, his whole world just changed.

The curtains lifted and revealed a young pale youthful face. Green catlike eyes concealed under messy silver hair.

 _It's … Him._

Cloud could feel his heart pounding in his chest in front of him, his blue eyes wide open in shock and his jaw slacked.

Kadaj stood frozen right there, right in front of him only wearing an almost torn black fitting shirt with matching pants. His hair was almost longer but still messily thrown over one eye. His eyes were blown wide, especially now that his brother, his killer stood in front of him.

He at least expected Yazoo or even Loz to come but not _him._

"N-Nii-san?!"

* * *

 _Read and review please!_


	6. VI

_**Disclaimer: go back to ch 1**_

 ** _WARNING:_** _I can't really say there's sex in this scene but its mostly foreplay. Which is close to sex. So **do not proceed if you are not used to sex.** It's mostly Tseng/Rufus. I'll mark it M just in case. _

_Read and review!_

* * *

"Kadaj?"

He whispered, the visage of the teenager in front of him almost fading. He was sure it was his eyes playing tricks on him but when he blinked and rubbed them, the clueless and frightened teen was still there.

The remnant however just fell on the carpet laid on the floor, scrambling up and gripped the sides of the bed.

He seemed like he was anything but happy.

"Get away from me! Get away!"

He shrieked, digging through the stash of clothes and when he couldn't find any, he just gave up and knelt before the makeshift clothed bed, refusing to face him.

If anything, Cloud would've laughed if it was someone else. Kadaj looked just like a child running away after disobeying his parents.

 _Well he did more than just disobey his parents._

He just stood there for a good few minutes, Kadaj just bent over the clothed bed and didn't move. He just buried his face in the blanket, exposing his entire back.

Just so Cloud could sink in his blade and finish the job.

Or knock him upside the head and drag him to Shinra.

He had a job to do, after all.

 _Why isn't he fighting back?_

"Kadaj?"

He tilted his head, coming closer. The teen flinched almost pitifully, trembling against the bed.

"Go away."

Of course Kadaj knew he was coming closer. With all of his strength and enhanced senses, he could feel the rug shifting under him, the sand digging in under his knees.

Forget that Kadaj wasn't fighting back. Maybe it was all a ploy so when Cloud's guard was down, he'll lash out.

Just what was he _doing_ here? Wasn't he supposed to be at Shinra now fighting the Turks and dead set on getting revenge? Of course he should be furious at them for spoiling the Reunion, mother was the only thing Kadaj loved.

He should be taking someone's bike, killing people and finding his brothers.

 _Why was he in the middle of a desert? Much less why wasn't he causing destruction?_

That was the only thing he used to live for, he was the perfect embodiment of His rage and insanity.

"Why are you just standing there? Why aren't you doing something?"

 _I could ask you the same thing._

His voice seemed to weigh heavy on spite, yet something _else_ was in there.

"Why can't you just do it… I've got nothing to live for anyway."

His head picked up, glaring at Cloud from the corner of his eye.

This just wasn't Kadaj.

This isn't the teenager he saw almost obliterating the planet.

This isn't the teenager that possessed an army of children and nearly killed them all.

This isn't the teenager that he held dying in his arms, who even though he was long defeated and broken, he wasted his last breath on one word.

' _Mother'._

 _This_ was all that was reduced too?

"What makes you say that?"

For once Cloud didn't try and attack him first. Hell, he didn't even have his blades in his hand.

"What makes me… I don't believe it."

Kadaj was laughing. An empty, hollow laugh.

"The only reason why I was created was to bring back Mother. That's all there was. And I didn't even know how to do that…"

Cloud could hear his words balancing on a thread. He was smiling, he was laughing but it was barren. There wasn't anything to laugh at.

"The only reason why you were created was because of Sephiroth. Jenova didn't have anything to do with it, she was only important to him because-"

"I know."

He interrupted him and Cloud had to stop. For once he didn't hear a single word dipped in insanity.

"I know all about it. I know she was just there so he could come back, I know he just wanted to be a god, I know… None of us were important."

Cloud came close, next to him. He could see now the boy was paler than before, his hair was messier and more white.

"None of us were important…"

He lifted up his head, his broken green eyes locked on his blue. Cloud could almost see tears stinging the back of his eyes.

"He just used us as puppets…

He let Loz and Yazoo _die_ , he didn't even bring them back… What's the point, huh? Why are we here?"

Kadaj's lip quivered and Cloud could feel his heart crumbling.

 _Another puppet, another pawn…_

Why Cloud even bothered to care he had no idea. He was just strange like this, Gaia knows how many times he sympathized with monsters.

Kadaj just buried his face in his arms and cried. His body slumped to the side, his sobs heard softly, like little whispers hanging on a thread.

Cloud couldn't help but lay a hand on his shoulder, his soft sniffles almost dying instantly. Kadaj once again looked up with teary eyes, streaking down his rosy cheeks.

"Please just finish it…"

Before, if the teen just _asked_ him, he wouldn't even waste another breath bringing down the heavy blade on him.

But now he had a year to think. He wasn't going to cause anymore deaths.

"No. Give it a chance, won't you?"

Who was _he_ to say things like that to a _Sephiroth_ remnant?

He was expecting him to get up and try and fight him, practically throwing himself at death.

But all he did was sigh and hide his face in his arms again.

"Loz and Yazoo may be gone, but at least I have something…"

He wiped his tears, his cat green eyes trailing up to Cloud's again.

If they were on good terms then he knew he couldn't stay. Shinra wasn't good at waiting after all.

"I just came to see you."

He then realized how weird that sounded. Like he _wanted_ to check up on him. Like he was _wanting_ to come by more often and care for him.

 _Did he?_

"You knew I was here?"

Cloud sighed, eventually realizing he couldn't hold it back.

"Shinra knows where you are. He sent me so I can bring you back."

For a second he thought Kadaj would blow up in his face or freak out but he didn't. He just shook his head.

"And you're just gonna do what Shinra says?"

Cloud blinked, the first time someone's ever pointed that out to him. Sure Tifa has once, trying to get him to stop coming whenever Rufus calls and Barrett but it's the first time he's ever heard someone say it so _scornfully_ before.

Cloud just shuffled his feet in the cloth, feeling the sand shift underneath.

"No. I'm not."

He really didn't know what he was doing but it was too late. As soon as that hand touched him, he was gone.

Cloud laid his hand on Kadaj's chin, tilting his head up. Soft wisps of silver locks fell in front of his right eye, his one catlike green hue locked on his own glowing blue ones. He came closer but not too close so it was awkward.

"I have some questions. Questions that not even Shinra can answer."

Cloud whispered, inches away from his face. His heart pounded in his chest, blood pumping through his veins. He could say the same thing for Kadaj, his eye slowly widening the more the blonde got closer.

"What do you wanna know?"

The teen whispered, his breath dancing on Cloud's lips. Even if the sounds of children giggling and adults arguing with each other outside the thin colorful cloth, nothing could interrupt the two. It was like a connection was forming between them and Cloud couldn't help but dive into the unknown. It just felt so good… So close to Kadaj, breathing him in, lost in those green eyes… He felt the urge to feel that pale skin, to caress it softly… Kadaj running his pale hands all over his muscles, throwing his head back and letting out cries of pleasure…

Kadaj came closer, his one visible eye almost drooping shut. He softly brushed both of their lips together, sharing heat and breath. The remnant placed a hand on one black clothed shoulder, diving in.

But before they could place their lips together, the colorful noisy beads sounded and crashed on the floor.

"What the hell?! Cat, who's this?!"

Rikku's loud voice struck the both of them out of their reverie, Kadaj gasping so loud and choking on the dry air. Cloud was frozen there, his hand held up in the air as if Kadaj was still there.

He shook his head, snapping out of it.

"Uh… I take it you're the leader of this camp?"

Cloud smiled nervously, a droplet of sweat falling from his forehead.

* * *

He just about had it.

Normally it wouldn't bother him, Rufus can do whatever he wanted but the fact that he was _pushing it_ …

He had numerous people fired yesterday because they weren't 'doing their job', Reno just got _suspended_ \- even though that was hardly a surprise. The redhead was expecting it sooner or later - and not to mention that Rufus practically _ordered_ Tseng to replace Reno with Loz as Rude's _permanent_ partner. He practically threw a fit, almost engaging Loz in combat until Tseng forcibly removed the both of them out.

Reno was alone, he had no one it count on.

The only person available wasn't even in the Turks, he was just Shinra's bounty hunter. But not even Yazoo wanted to stay near the Turk.

 _Something_ happened so long ago between the both of them. And it was long after their little dance at Midgar.

Tseng shook his head, trying to not let today's tumultuous events fill his head.

He was a damn Turk, he was supposed to keep this under control.

The Wutaian closed the glass doors behind him, slipping his keys out his pocket and locked them. He rubbed his forehead as if the massive headache would go away by a simple action. He walked down the hallway and just made it to the elevator when a familiar smooth voice made him jolt.

"Did you finish all your work?"

The rather young President swung his white pristine suit jacket over his shoulder and twirled two of his thin fingers over one another as if he was holding a cigarette. His lit sea blue eyes seemed to gaze at Tseng, almost like he was studying his features under the dim lighting.

"Of course, sir."

Tseng nodded, breaking eye contact and stood still in front of the elevator.

People often stared a little bit too long at him since he was so silent and yet so _stern_. Tseng's body told a thousand things, how his day went, what he was doing so long ago, if he had a normal night to sleep… Yet his face always showed the same thing. Emotionless. Bored. Plain.

The only person to ever actually _know_ exactly what Tseng was thinking and overlook past the stern facade he played was Rufus. It was always Rufus.

"Of course. What more is there besides work to you, right?"

And he smirked.

Tseng hardly did this, hell not even Veld could ever see him smile before.

The elevator made a little noise signaling it was nearly there. Shinra's buildings was normally fast when it came to things like this since Rufus' family wasn't known for their patience.

The big burly man used to pound on the elevator doors, or even on a nearby soldier of the elevator was running slow. It's not a surprise Rufus was the same thing. He kept it hidden under a growl or a grumble but whatever it was, he hardly showed it.

The elevator's steel doors opened up, the ever impatient man stepped right in. Tseng also entered after him, his hands crossed over one another.

They stood side by side as the elevator made the descent, none of them ever spared a word. It was usually like this after a long and stressful day, although Rufus preferred the noise so it could drown out of all his excited thoughts.

"Did you get anything from Cloud yet?"

The Turk shook his head. From the corner of his eye, he could see Rufus do the same and sigh.

"Of course. I knew from the beginning he wouldn't bring him in just like that."

Tseng rose his head, giving him a slight look of confusion.

"And why is that, sir?"

He saw the blonde shrug, loosening up a few buttons of his. Tseng followed the pale digits slowly unbutton the first and then the second.

"He wouldn't take the photo for nothing."

He glanced up at Tseng, causing the man to snap forward. The steel doors opened, both of them stepping out of the cubicle.

"Would you like me to drive you home, sir?"

Tseng closely followed the President out the building, watching him take a turn. He opened the doors of his sleek black car, motioning the Turk in. Tseng, of course, got in obediently and started the engine.

"Home, sir?"

He turned his head, his hand still on the wheel. What he expected was Rufus catching his gaze and twirling his fingers. What he didn't expect was the President's heavy blue eyes and how he torturously pressed the side button. Before Tseng could question what the button was for, he watched the color of the windows tint black, the street lamp outside shining in but very, very dimly.

The man felt his heart pick up soon after, his head full of confusion. He looked up to ask what was happening but his eyes locked on Rufus' thin pale digits _slowly_ undoing his buttons on his shirt.

"You know the times when people are mostly out, Tseng?"

The Turk couldn't place it but he knew there was something extra in his voice. It was rough, deep but also very _needy_.

"I do not, sir."

The man seemed to stall him, his heart racing in his chest. He watched Rufus' dark gray shirt slip off his shoulders sensually, revealing another black thin fitting shirt underneath.

"It's in the morning and afternoon. Sometimes at night but what do you think about ten o'clock?"

Tseng blinked, his brown eyes darting to the clock which read '10:25'.

"People returning from work. It's mostly the time people see their families after…"

His voice trailed off due to the sight of Rufus slipping his shirt over his head.

"Work…"

The Wutaian's eyes locked on his pale chest, his built abs and the lean but firm hips which was slowly, so _slowly_ shaking under his gaze. Even though there was hardly any light, he caught sight of the beading of sweat piling up on his collarbone. Pert pink nipples poked forward, almost wanting attention.

 _Tseng's_ attention.

"That's right. Do me a favor, will you?"

He didn't know when but Rufus slowly snuck forward, his body slithering over the armrest. Up close Tseng could scan his face, what he was feeling.

 _Hot._

Rufus' cheeks were flushed, almost heatedly. His lips pouted forward as if they really wanted to touch something, _anything._ His blonde hair was a mess, strands fallen over his eye and his dense blue eyes locked on his.

"Yes, sir?"

Tseng swallowed thickly, his heart picking up. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his fingers twitching against the leather. He hated to say he was getting excited by this, little sparks of arousal beginning to pool around his abdomen.

"Drive up to the car wash, the one that has the 24 hr mark. Then ask the man to start but leave us under the showers."

He breathed into his ear, his soft lips brushing his ear. Not only that but his voice practically _melted_ him.

Tseng nodded, shuddering as Rufus' voice echoed in his head. He hated how Rufus could make him weak in the knees, it was like he was an incubus claiming it's victim. Those demons that his uncle used to warn him about.

They were the most deadliest things you could come across. They played on your senses, practically _softened_ you up and when you thought everything was fine and they were done, after all the empty promises, they'll pounce and give you one last kiss. The kiss of death.

The blonde always did that, especially back then. Tseng was a rookie Turk and whenever the young man passed through, the blonde had _something_ that made the Turk fall for him.

He always _tempted_ him, he always dropped by after Tseng was worn out and tired. He always slithered in his room and bent over the desk, placing a not so chaste kiss on his lips.

Tseng _tried_ to fight him, Tseng really did _try_ but when Rufus touched his body…

The Turk drove down the road, catching sight of the car wash sign down the road. The lump refused to go down and no matter what he did, the blood that was hot and pumping south just wouldn't stop.

Tseng rolled down his window and just as soon as the guy came over and asked how he wanted his car washed. But when he caught sight of Tseng, paired with _Rufus_ who quickly threw on his discarded jacket to conceal his pale chest, he straightened up. And Tseng could see a drop of sweat beginning to pile up on his forehead.

"Normal. But leave us under the showers."

The man nodded and ran forward, spraying something on the car so the brushes wouldn't damage the top and signaled them forward. Tseng slowly pressed his feet on the pedal and wheeled in, the water cascading down in the car and the brushes wiping down the windows.

"Sir, I apologize if the brushes leave marks."

The Wutaian stole a glance at the man and immediately felt his heart pick up the pace.

The president already managed to throw off his shirt and pants, the clothing left in the backseat. His pale thighs seemed to tremble teasingly under Tseng's intense gaze, same with Rufus' pert chest. His deep blue eyes glanced up and the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk.

 _Magnificent bastard._

"And I apologize if I do also."

It all happened so fast, Rufus gripped the side of the car seat and threw the seat back, the chair moving also. Rufus quickly straddled his waist, his thighs planted on either side of his waist.

"I've always wanted to do this in my car. My _new_ car."

He purred, slowly taking the lobe in between his teeth.

* * *

Moments passed and Rufus fell on top of Tseng's chest, completely spent. He panted harshly on his shoulder, still shuddering from his release not too long ago.

Apparently the car wash trick didn't work. The brushes scratched the sides of Rufus' car and the water leaked inside, right in between them. And also the manager had to take them out since another person wanted in.

Rufus just covered himself up with his coat, still on Tseng's cock. The Turk had a few seconds to drive before Rufus started lifting himself up and down, nearly making Tseng hit a pole.

 _So much for new experiences._

The Turk immediately parked on the side of the street right in front of the strip club Reno goes just to piss Yazoo off. They both reached climax, Rufus letting out a vulgar long moan and staining his chest with pearly white cum and Tseng deep inside him.

"Oh, I can never get used to that…"

The president fell on top of him, almost languidly. The Turk just grunted and placed Rufus down in his seat, starting the car again.

"May I drop you off your house, sir?"

Tseng glanced at the young president, the blonde man mumbling to himself before drifting off.

"Don't care as long as I'm not late in the morning."

The Wutaian nodded and gripped the handle, hesitating almost a little bit.

"Sir, is it okay if we discuss this-"

A loud snore cut him off. He sighed and just started to drive to his house.

The moment he got there, he opened the side door and carried the President in his arms. Soft blonde hair fell in wisps in front of his eyes, his head almost falling out of his arms.

"Wutainese food is the best…"

Rufus muttered in his shoulder, a smile tugging on the Turk's face.

"Really now? I thought you said Kalm's food was the best."

He heard a scoff coming from the man and unlocked the door to the small apartment room. Rufus had his own home at the Healen but for some reason he always preferred Tseng's small apartment better.

"The men in Kalm aren't attractive. The one thing to capture someone's heart is a hot man dressed in nothing but an apron delivering freshly home cooked noodles and fish and whatever they eat there…"

Tseng laid Rufus on the mattress, laying the silk over his body.

"Are you referring to three years ago?"

The Turk smiled, brushing the blonde strands from his face. The president said something under his breath before falling deep asleep this time.

 _Magnificent bastard._

Tseng began stripping, the moonlight shone on his chest from the clear glass window. He caught the reflection of the rather big tattoo of _Leviathan_ on his shoulder, just from a dare his cousin made him marks, nicks and love bites littered his shoulder, slumping it down.

He really needed to stop this.

It's been going on for _years_ and _years,_ this constant internal lust war. Tseng couldn't even remember how long, it's just been too many nights that ended with this, that ended with Rufus' legs around his waist and his skin slick against his.

It's been the same thing, they had a long day of work, they talk, Tseng drives him home or his apartment and then it begins. Tseng has a slip of the tongue, Rufus becomes interested, he teases him with dancing, kissing and whatever he thinks of. Then they collapse in an intense heat, tangled in each other's limbs and climax under the dim lights. Rufus falls asleep, Tseng stays with him the entire night and when morning comes, they get dressed and don't mention the night again.

They didn't say anything, it was just instinct. Maybe Rufus used him for sex just because he knew Tseng didn't do it with anyone else.

The Turk shrugged and lifted up the sheets, sliding into them.

 _Who cares if I'm just used for sex? As long as he's happy…_

Oh, but he really wished he agreed with that.


	7. VII

_**R &R!**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: go back to ch 1**_

* * *

"Yes, thank you Rikku."

Cloud nodded and shifted in the chair he sat in, glancing at Kadaj now and then.

The boy was still on the ground, kneeling against the bedside. He bit his nail, his red bitten lip pouting. His pale shoulder was revealed despite the shirt fitting around his waist.

"No problem. Just don't make out in my tent next time, okay?"

She grumbled and fixed the vibrant cloths on the table Kadaj spilled over.

"Y-Yes, we'll avoid that next time."

He glanced at Kadaj and his heart jolted when he didn't react to 'next time'.

The boy just covered his red bitten lip and kept on staring at Cloud, his fist almost shaking.

"Gaia, I can't stand you two. I can smell the lust from over here."

The elder stood up and lifted up the beads, letting them cascade on the sand.

"Just fuck already, it'll make both our worlds better."

She grumbled out the tent and for a split second Cloud thought she was gonna come back in. When she didn't a long string of silence passed them both, neither one of them speaking first.

Kadaj just stared blankly at Cloud and the blonde stared back. He studied how no matter how hot the weather was, he didn't sweat. He didn't sweat at all.

Long silver bangs covered his eyes, hidden under an intense green gaze.

"You heard what she said. Come here…"

Kadaj slowly brought himself up on the clothed makeshift bed, spreading his slim legs. His hands went down his pants and he pulled them off, tilting his head back.

"Cloud…"

He moaned, the hand in his pants pumping something that peeked over the edge.

The blonde felt like he couldn't control himself at the sight and stood up, almost a bit too fast and ripped his hand out.

"Kadaj, we need to talk about this…"

He tried to reason with him, really, but it was hard with his own mind distracting him. Images of the clone arching underneath him and moaning Cloud's name loud enough for the whole camp to hear. Not to mention how _tight_ he must be. Stretched deliciously around his-

"I don't care, just give it to me. Please…"

He begged, hot breath hitting Cloud's lips.

He couldn't do this. Kadaj _just_ got out of the lifestream, he was his enemy and he was a _guy_.

The last part didn't really matter now that he thought about it, he had feelings for Zack in the past. With Sephiroth also at one point.

But still, there was so many things that could come out of this. Kadaj could just want his cock and after he got it he'll leave just like everyone else has.

Only he didn't want to find anyone else.

But before he could finally give in, high shrieks echoed throughout the camp.

 _What?_

Cloud stood up immediately and grabbed his sword, Kadaj zipping up his pants and went rummaging through the tent to find a sword or something to attack with.

"What's happening, what-"

Kadaj mumbled confused, almost falling over on his knees when he couldn't find a weapon. When the ex-merc noticed his empty hands, he unsheathed a dagger from his belt and tossed it to him.

Just as the elder woman came to his mind, Rikku lifted up the beady covers. Her face was etched with something close to panic but suppressed it down.

"They're here! You two get out as soon as possible, I'll take care of it!"

She didn't leave the both of them time to object before she left, the beads crashing down on the sand.

Screams of little children and woman resounded throughout the camp, gunfire was rampant and exclamations of "they're here, they're here!" and children crying out for their mothers was all he could hear.

Kadaj gripped the handle tightly with his hand and looked up at Cloud, a twinge of fear in his green slanted eyes.

"S-So? Where's the next pitstop?"

The ex-merc didn't give him an answer. He lifted up the curtain and the first thing he saw was strangely tall men in heavily coated black suits, two long blue stripes dividing both their uniforms in half and wielding big guns which nearly deafened Cloud despite being a mile away. All of them had tough sturdy helmets on, gleaming under dim lights and strangely enough had an odd blue glowing dot in the center.

They seemed to gesture towards each civilian, sort of a hasty symbol and when they didn't they pointed their guns and fired.

Cloud wasn't having any of it and bent over _Fenrir_ parked outside, wiping the blades clean from dust or anything accumulating the surface.

"Nii-san, let's get outta here!"

Kadaj nudged his shoulder and followed him through, almost getting lost in the mass of people. He pushed them around, not caring who it was.

"Brother, please!"

He yelled out and caught sight of Rikku holding off against a band of men with the same exact type of uniform but this time they had robes on. She hacked through them with two shuriken like claws. But no matter how agile and fast she was, too many of them piled up on her and pointed their guns. Kadaj forgot all about Cloud and ran ahead, almost tripping on the sand.

"Hey!"

He yelled and the men turned their heads. Rikku stabbed one of them in the back but he suddenly picked her up and threw her away, only focusing their attention on Kadaj.

" _Is that Him? Is that really Him?"_

One of the soldiers muffled under their helmets and after a short while, they pointed to Kadaj clearly.

" _That's Him! Get him!"_

"... Shit."

The remnant panted and sprinted, falling over once and just turned sometimes to swipe at one of them if they got too close.

"Nii-san!"

He cried out again, higher pitched than before. Cloud turned his head after getting rid of one of the grunts and widened his eyes when Kadaj was yanked back.

" _Kadaj!_ "

Cloud ran to the clone as fast as he could. His eyes glued to the figure in front, black firm hands clenched the teenager's biceps and a single syringe flickering under the dim fire.

 _No._

Cloud didn't have enough time to talk or to run before the figure sunk the syringe in Kadaj's neck, the boy letting out an aching cry as the man filled up the hollow tube with thick scarlet blood. Cloud felt his heart halt but he just couldn't stop running.

"Fuckers! _Get away from him!"_

After what seemed like forever, the men practically threw him forward and the teen held himself up, coughing down on the sand. He was lucky he didn't get trampled by the people running around, especially in the loose sand.

"Kadaj, Kadaj are you okay? Hey, are you okay?"

Cloud bent over and hooked an arm under his waist and knees, hauling him up with no problem. Kadaj's eyes fluttered and his muscles weakened, almost like they injected him with something instead of extracting his blood.

"Hey, I'm not losing you too okay? Not you too…"

Cloud knew he should be out defending the camp against the men. He knew he should just lay Kadaj in one of the tents and leave but something inside forced him to stay there. It was almost like he just _couldn't_ leave him, no matter what was happening around.

He lifted up the cloths to one the tents and laid him down on the bed. He tilted his head to the side where the soldier took his blood and noticed the spot spreading rapidly like an infection, like a very very bad rash.

"Hey, Kadaj? Can you hear me?"

Cloud whispered while searching for a first aid kit or _something_ to clean the spot.

"N-N-Nii-san… What…?"

He mumbled, his voice weak and broken. "W-Where…"

"Don't worry about it."

Cloud popped open a box and wrapped a small ball, dipping it in sterilizer and pressed it against the spot. Kadaj winced in pain, his hand shot up to grab his wrist.

"W-what did that guy put in me?"

He questioned, his face contorted with pain as he pressed against the wound.

"He just took some blood, I don't think poisoned you."

 _I hope._

Kadaj clenched his fists and breathed out heavily while Cloud tended to the rapidly growing _rash_ on his skin. Or if it even was a rash.

"I don't think it's that big, nii-san, I'm fine…"

"Don't care, rashes get infections, infection make you sick, get sick and you die."

He wrapped a long strand around his forearm, tying a knot to pressure a gash.

"I thought you wanted me dead…"

Kadaj looked up through bleary green eyes. It was obvious the more time he spent here away from the Lifestream he was weakening. Maybe it was a status effect thing.

"No, I don't. If it means anything, the last thing I want is you dead."

"Why? So Shinra can pay you more?"

He coughed, attempting to glare at him but failing. He just squinted his eyes.

"I told you I'm not handing you to Shinra."

Cloud grunted and tied the last of the bandages around his arm, sighing in relief. It occurred to him just then the screams and gunshots died down, leaving murmurs and crying in its wake. He lifted up a flap and peeked out, seeing people pitch their tents and pick up limp bodies in suits.

Just then Rikku rushed in the tent and glanced at Cloud, her gaze focusing only on Kadaj.

"You have some explaining to do."

The blonde crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the elderly woman.

* * *

"Get your feet off my damn couch! I just brushed it, yo."

Reno swatted away Yazoo's teasingly long legs, grumbling under his breath.

"The whole reason why this apartment's a dump is 'cause you don't wipe your feet when ya come in."

Yazoo didn't seem phased and continued changing the channel, munching on something Reno just threw in the cabinet. Smelled and tasted like chips.

The remnant brushed crumbs off his puffy blue robe - well it was mostly _Reno's_ \- and swiped some strands of silver hair that fell in front of his face. He wore nothing underneath the robe, didn't feel like it was worth it. If only Reno stopped yelling at him, he'd walk around the apartment completely naked.

One day.

The redhead just gave a poisonous glance, turning back to the tv.

"Are ya just gonna pick something to watch or just scrolling the channels for kicks? I'm bored, yo."

Reno noticed a stain on his perfectly whitened tank top, grimacing for a second and pulled up the blanket so he wouldn't notice it again.

Yazoo just laid his head in his hand pursing his lips as he just jumped from one channel to another.

" _Psycho?_ Is that a good movie?"

He finally spoke, bringing up slim fingers so he brushed his soft pale lips.

"You mean the one with the MILF thing going on?"

Yazoo furrowed his brows his fragile face looking up, lips pursed.

"What's a MILF?"

The Turk darted his cerulean eyes to Yazoo's emerald ones before he burst out in laughter.

"You mean to tell me you out of all people don't know what MILF means?"

He covered his face and for the first time in forever laughed until his guts hurt and tears brimmed his eyes.

"MILF…"

He threw his head back and tried to regain his breath but fell back into laughter all over again.

All the while Yazoo was growing frustrated and stood up.

"I'll find it my own self then."

Reno calmed down from laughing and reached out a hand, grabbing his and smiled.

"It means… It means Mother I'd Like to Fuck."

At first Yazoo was confused why Reno was holding his hand but then he started gagging.

"Fucking Mother? Why would you fuck Mother?"

He covered his mouth and the thought anyone would want to _take Mother to bed_ was nauseating. Why would anyone want to sleep with the very thing they came out of?

Reno just rolled his eyes and retracted his hand, still snickering.

"You know cause you made Jenova sound like a type of sex goddess or something. The way you said it made it seem like she'll be good in bed, yo."

Yazoo shook his head, despite how much his stomach was churning in disgust.

"That wasn't me."

He muttered and suddenly that statement alone hit him.

"So you mean to tell me that it's just your brother that had feelings for your mother?"

Yazoo's eyes widened.

 _That was Kadaj._

Even though the younger remnant was his brother and in the end they had a common goal, he didn't think the same way he had.

He didn't feel for Sephiroth like Kadaj did, he didn't feel for Mother like Kadaj did and the whispers the younger clone often rambled about, he couldn't feel the same.

He was just driven on faith alone Mother would come and 'fix' the world but deep inside, buried where he couldn't hear himself…

 _What was there to fix?_

"You sure it wasn't you? Oh yeah, you totally didn't shoot me cause I referred Jenova as just a friggin' head, yo."

The Turk rolled his eyes and grabbed the remote, flipping to another channel.

Yazoo should've gotten mad at that, he should've growled and stomped off but he didn't.

He just sat back down and brushed it off.

In everything that happened before, was it just pointless? Was Kadaj the only one that cared about Mother?

Or did Mother only care about Kadaj?

After all if she really did care about him, why didn't she help Loz and him when they were kicked out?

They died, why weren't they allowed in heaven? If Mother was powerful enough to destroy the world, why didn't she bring them back up there?

Why did she just leave Kadaj?

Why did she _pick_ Kadaj?

"Huh, that's a miracle."

Reno muttered and leaned back on the couch, the familiar high violin strings blaring from the speakers.

* * *

"So you say they're scientists who are trained as soldiers? A whole army of them?"

Cloud paced around the tent, making sure Kadaj was sleeping soundly and nothing could wake him up.

It's been hours since the attack, as soon as Rikku came inside the remnant just fell asleep. Which worried Cloud more since who knows what else he'll get weak by.

"Scary elite force, the lot of them. Been attacking us for months, since January. They keep searching for a 'piece', just a puzzle piece to something big. Thing is though I had no idea what they meant until now."

She glanced every now and then to Kadaj, the teen's pouty pink lips letting out soft breaths. His bandaged up arm was crossed over his chest, his silver hair covering his eyes.

"If they're mostly scientists, what do they want? What're they creating?"

He was just too anxious over this, the worst part of it was that it wasn't Shinra. At least it didn't look like Shinra. Usually it would've been easier if it was Shinra operating on him but it wasn't. Just a huge cult of them.

Which was _worse._

"Nothing good. If they needed his blood for an experiment, who knows when they'll come back for more."

Kadaj stirred in his sleep, muttering something about stupid chocobos and feather soup.

"Do you know him?"

Cloud asked and finally took his seat in an empty chair near Kadaj's bed, tilting his head curiously to Rikku.

"No, I don't. All I know is he's just a kid that looks like a cat and likes to pick fights with everybody."

Cloud chuckled, twirling a silver strand in between his fingers.

"Don't forget psychotic."

"... Fuck both of you guys…"

Kadaj mumbled, stirring from under a deep sleep. He popped a green eye open and threw his arm over his face. He swatted Cloud's hand away and turned his back, throwing the rather colorful cloth over his body.

Rikku scoffed and stood up, lifting up the beaded opening.

"I'm gonna clean up around here, I can't leave my people to clean up for themselves. We have robots to help but still…"

"Do you need help, Rikku?"

Cloud stood up after she left, the beads falling and burying themselves in the white sand. He brushed blonde bangs out of his face and was about to leave but the elders voice stopped him.

"The only thing I need help with is keeping him under control! Make sure he doesn't leave, got it? I wanna know more about 'em."

The ex-merc heard him scowl.

"What am I, some fucking pet?"

Kadaj glanced at Cloud from under his arm and caught his smirk too late.

"Not _that_ kind!"


	8. VIII

_Hey everyone! Sorry it took so long for me to upload this since I have to deal with moving and stuff. There is smut in this chapter between Tseng/Rufus again. Please skip their part if you're sensitive to that stuff._

 _FINAL FANTASY DOES NOT BELONG TO ME. IT BELONGS TO SQUARE ENIX. Believe me I would've made everyone have sex now lol._

* * *

"So they're called Deepground?"

Cloud glanced up at Kadaj, who read from a file he got in Shinra's library. He got Kadaj out of the camp after Rikku sent him away for safety reasons and now they were seated in Cloud's apartment in Midgar, one that the landlord gave him a discount on the rent after the blonde delivered a special 'package' to his girlfriend.

Thing was though, it took a lot of effort to sneak Kadaj here.

Good thing was his apartment was on the edge of Midgar, close to the city's entrance. All Cloud needed to do was throw in a cloak and hop him on _Fenrir,_ drive past the entrance and practically throw Kadaj off the bike and threw the door.

 _Nobody suspected a thing._

The blonde wanted to know more about the men who raided the Al Bhed camp so he personally left and got in Shinra's restricted area, all because he paid off the grunt there. There was a lot of stuff he stole from there also, not just Deepground information.

"According to Shinra, yes."

"But I thought you said they weren't Shinra."

Kadaj glanced at Cloud who just shrugged and continued flipping pages through the packet.

"Funded by Shinra, who knows. I just know Shinra knows about them, probably pays them off for all the experiments. Maybe this is where they're continuing SOLDIER."

He spoke with spite. Kadaj knew why and he used to share the animosity for the President as much as he did.

"Do you really think Rufus wants to continue this stuff? Didn't he say something about doing good for the planet?"

Kadaj put down one of the files containing Vincent Valentine's time at Shinra, setting it aside for later. He knew who he was, the tall sad man with the long hair and pointy shoes. The one Loz used to call a 'vampire' even though Kadaj used to get annoyed by that.

"I don't know… I just have a feeling he'll relapse to his old self very soon. Everyone does."

"Not me."

 _And he really did want to know why._

Cloud glanced up at him just for a second as if surprised he admitted it. He focused down on the paper.

"Yeah. I wonder why…"

Kadaj swallowed down a lump beginning to form in his throat and focused back on his work, trying to get his mind off of Mother.

Before he was kicked out she used to be like a lifeguard to him, it was all he could think about. When he could return to her, when he could make her happy, when he could be the best, _the good son_.

But all he wanted to do was die and go back.

He remembered the first weeks at camp all he desired was to find a metal he heard about among the people that could efficiently kill a SOLDIER.

Like _destroy_ a SOLDIER. Make sure the soul was burnt out of the body before they could disappear into the Lifestream.

It was a metal that the ancients used to craft and enchant which warded away aliens and evil spirits, like Mother. Apparently Mother destroyed the metal and killed everyone who knew about it but the ideas stuck. The knowledge passed down through generations of Ancient blacksmiths and there was a rumor one Cetra knew about it but she died before they could know. It was all one big mystery, and Kadaj hoped they never found the answer.

"You look nervous. You've been shaking ever since I came, you know that?"

Cloud muttered, his glowing blue eyes stuck on the youngest remnant. He watched him with some _interest_ , not necessarily lust but close to wonder… But maybe lust.

"It's the desert, brother. In case you didn't know, I'm not exactly built for that kind of weather."

Kadaj pointed to his pale skin, which almost resembled the moon under a cold midnight sky. Just for a second the remnant locked eyes with Cloud and he had to look away. Those ocean blue eyes was too deep and it was so easy to drown in them.

"You sure it's mostly the desert?"

Kadaj cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the white bandage doused in antiseptic and cream Cloud tied so the rash wouldn't spread.

"What else could it be, brother?"

He dared to look up again and this time he forced himself to look away and stare at the paper. The clone swore he saw his eyes darken and soon enough he was getting anxious.

"Uh… Wait who's… Genesis… Rhapsodosis?"

Kadaj squinted at the paper he read from and practically shoved it in Cloud's face so he could distract him.

Not that the remnant didn't _enjoy_ the attention…

"You mean Rhapsodos? He was a first class SOLDIER and was one of Sephiroth's only friends."

Cloud didn't even look at the paper. Zack told him enough about the SOLDIER, so much he knew his life as if reading a book.

"One of… Sephiroth's friends? He had friends?"

As much as everyone wanted to think, Kadaj hardly knew anything about Sephiroth despite being a piece of him. He didn't inherit his memories, he didn't know how old he was, he didn't know what he did that was so _bad_ and he didn't know who he was even related to. All he knew was the man was Mother's favorite and yet he just _couldn't understand why._

Cloud nodded and put down the papers, as if giving a break.

"Yes. He wasn't a very sociable person, he hardly spoke and showed any emotions so people automatically assumed he didn't like them. Which was mostly the case, he didn't like anyone." He sighed. "But Genesis was different. There was another man also, but Sephiroth didn't feel the same about him."

Kadaj nodded and flipped through the file to find Genesis.

"What made Genesis so different from the rest?"

Cloud crossed his arm and arched his back, hearing a satisfied crack. He grunted and shifted in his chair.

"I don't know. I didn't know him well, I was just told what he was like from a friend."

 _A friend._

"He read LOVELESS?"

 _Why is that so familiar?_

Kadaj found a small paper attached to the file which looked like it was written by hand. It smelt like storage and leaves for some reason and a hint of… _Apples?_

"The play? Genesis was obsessed with that one, I heard he memorized it by heart."

Cloud leaned forward as if reading the paper and squinted to get a better look.

"It's a script but ink is all smudged, it looks like somebody spilled water on it."

Kadaj muttered and Cloud took it out of his hand. He squinted and brought the piece in closer, only making out a few words.

"It's the first act… The bottoms cut and I can only make out the top."

"Well then read it."

Cloud shot a look at him over the paper but only for a second. He opened his mouth and read the sentence lowly as if reading to himself.

" _Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess  
We seek it thus-"_

" _And take it to the sky."_

Cloud's head shot up, raising a brow. Kadaj swallowed thickly and looked away, muttering.

" _Ripples form on the water's surface, the wandering soul knows no rest._ LOVELESS, Act I."

Cloud tilted his head to the side and looked down at the paper. His eyes shot open for just a second.

"The last part's cut out. It's just the first sentence."

Kadaj's mouth opened and closed, his mind scattering in places. Suddenly lines from Act II came to his mind and Act III. They formed together in pieces and wholes, as if connecting a puzzle in his head.

"I-I don't know… I don't remember reading it…"

He rubbed his forehead and shut his eyes, trying to remember where he picked up the book.

Only he couldn't because he hadn't heard of LOVELESS until now.

Cloud opened his mouth to say something but shut up, putting the paper down.

"I'll head to the library and find the rest. In the meantime, you finish up reading about Deepground."

He stood up from the chair and circled around Kadaj, the latter's hand automatically shooting up and grasping his.

The blonde looked down at him and noticed a hesitant look on his features, his big green eyes expanding a little. However a good moment passed and Kadaj let go.

"S-Sorry. I wanted to say something but I forgot."

He shook his head and froze when he felt Cloud's fingers thread his hair, curling around a soft silver strand and massaging behind his ear almost like a dog.

The remnant blushed madly and looked up, his stomach flipping at the color of his eyes.

They were _glowing_ , but… Darker. It sent a shiver down his spine, the feeling foreign to him. He coughed and the blonde snapped out of it, forcing his hand out of his hair.

"You want anything?"

Cloud averted his gaze, crossing his muscled arms and stared at the door. A hint of a blush appeared on his face.

"U-um food. Like soup, any kind."

Kadaj's hands wandered on the files, opening a random one about… President Shinra's dogs?

He refused to look up, knowing if he did he couldn't control himself. The tension was too much.

"Right. Just read about Deepground."

Cloud muttered and his footsteps echoed on the creaking floorboards, the sound of a door slamming on his way out letting him know he was officially gone.

Now that _that problem_ is out of the way, he had a whole new one in his pants.

* * *

Rufus collapsed down on his chest, panting harshly against Tseng's collarbone. He was shuddering from the aftershocks, still not out of it.

He moaned in his skin, stuck tangled together in his limbs. The Wutaian's cum leaked out of his hole, caking his thighs.

He heard Tseng mumble something under his breath. He knew it was Wutainese, probably a swear or something.

"I'm sorry, I'm not fluent in warrior talk."

Rufus mumbled in his shoulder, his eyes closed. His blonde hair tickled Tseng's chin, feeling his hot breath rustle away a few strands.

"I said magnificent bastard, sir. Nothing bad but I'm sure you'll be pleased if you spoke 'warrior talk'."

The blonde just chuckled, his low voice rumbling against his collarbone. A pale hand slowly crept up his chest and clasped around a hand, almost afraid Tseng would pull away at the intimate contact but stayed.

They stayed like that for a long while, Rufus watching the sun slowly sink down past the threshold of the sky and rise up a glowing moon.

His thoughts scattered around, thinking various different things.

"You know I just don't get it…"

He muttered, deep forest pools lost out the window, searching for something unknown.

"You're from Wutai. Don't you think they'll brand you a traitor for siding with me? What's so important that you stay with me? With us?"

Rufus wasn't good at this kind of talk, his cheeks flushing with a light pink blush. Even though his emerald green gaze was out the window, he could tell Tseng was conflicted to answer. Almost like he _did_ know the answer but it was hard getting out. Cold eyes that only softened around Rufus squinted and even though his mouth was permanently etched in a frown, it wasn't the normal scowl he normally gave Reno but different. Almost like he was mad at himself for not conjuring up _some_ way to talk.

"It's difficult to explain, sir."

Was all he said, his eyes doing everything they can to avoid the curious green pools.

But Rufus wasn't having _any_ of it.

"Tseng, how long have I known you?"

The Wutaian seemed to think again, almost confused if he should give an exact answer but stopped.

"A long time, sir."

The blonde turned over and let out a grunt.

"Tseng, I am twenty eight years old and I was born in January. When I first met you, you were just a rookie Turk fresh out of Wutai and you were nineteen. How old was I, do you remember?"

He spoke with a firm voice as if he was demanding him to remember, but also laced gently so he didn't scare him. Not that he needed to, Tseng saw too much to be scared anymore.

"Sixteen, sir."

Rufus started to speak but then unexpectedly his lips turned up in a rare smile.

"And when I was sixteen, were you still calling me sir?"

Tseng's eyes widened for a split second before returning.

"No."

The blonde's smile picked up again and he scooted closer to lay a chaste kiss on his lips. It was rare for Rufus to be this soft, especially after sex. Usually he just laid in his arms without saying anything and in the next morning nothing would happen.

Thing was the amount of times they had sex was so few back then. Back then Rufus only used him for frustrations, having sex with him was so _angry_.

He always blamed that bastard, the man that ruled over him and turned him into _this._ Rufus was a child back then, nobody had to go through that.

"Then please, drop the formalities from now on. And I won't refer you as my shield when people are around."

Tseng scrunched up his eyebrows, struck at the request. Rufus' ego was so huge whenever a rookie Turk like Loz accidentally forgot 'sir', he snapped at him. He practically _begged_ attention and showing who was boss.

And he wouldn't say he's a _shield_? Rufus always referred him as a shield, in fact that was all Tseng thought he was.

"Sir-Mr. President-"

"Tseng."

The blonde's fingers tangled around his slim ones and brought them up closer to his face.

"Drop everything. Including the 'Mr. President' and 'Sir'. I'll fire you if you don't."

Tseng heard a rare chuckle and a nudge of their fingers. He just couldn't explain it, his heart just blossomed at that sound, fluttering on high and never falling. Thin light fingers tightened around his wrist and he couldn't help it. He hated and loved this feeling, a signal he fell down so far and couldn't get out.

 _Not that he wanted to._

" _Rufus.."_

He whispered, voice lost in the air. He was falling, he knew he was falling, lost in the shadows and only the blonde could pull him out.

Tseng almost too quickly grabbed his head and pulled him forward, his lips urgently pressed against his. Something was blossoming, opening up slowly almost too slowly but just enough because if it spilled, if it opened almost _too_ fast he couldn't take it.

Hands indiscreetly touched his back, massaging hidden spots that only Tseng knew where they were.

 _Caressing…_

Music carried on the wind into his room, settling on top and pretended they didn't notice the two men too high in pleasure. Lyrics drowned in their ears, whispering but muffled and covered by something else more important than pointless verses of songs of love, songs of hate, songs of self importance and self discovery…

Tseng dragged his nails in Rufus' back, pushing him down on his cock. He slammed in at the same time, sliding his back back and forth in the sheets. The blonde's mouth fell open in a gasp, his green pools widening.

"Oh-Tseng..!"

He was already slick and stretched from before so the Wutaian had more than enough freedom to bury him in the sheets. White silk sheets stuck to Tseng's back, black locks forming a curtain around them. His cock was all Rufus could feel inside him right now, smacking against _that spot_ and teasingly running in circles.

The man buried his face in Rufus' slick neck, piercing his teeth through his skin and formed a deep, dark mark. Rufus would've normally berated him but he was too far down to care.

"God, Tseng… Why does this feel so good…!"

He gasped, his head thrown back letting out lewd moans in the night air.

 _Love…_

Tseng slammed the willing blonde down his cock, soon feeling the whole room constrict down on them. Their bodies getting hotter, tighter, a tight coil in his stomach twisting, twisting around until…

" _Rufus…!"_

The blonde spilled between their chests, some smacking against his cheeks in the position they were in. His dark green hues fluttered, sparks bursting under his skin.

Tseng retracted away, hot breaths smacking the blonde's neck. He could feel his essence swirl around his cock, almost like a snowglobe filled with too much snow and glitter.

The Wutaian didn't even bother pulling out as he laid on his shoulder, Rufus' pale fingers threading his black hair. He mumbled something in his skin, lost in his ears.

"What did you say now?"

The blonde twirled around a soft black strand.

" _Your highness."_

Rufus smiled. The dull sound of drums drifted in the room.

"Now I don't mind _that_ formality."

* * *

"Why does it look so old?"

Kadaj dangled the book from the hinge, the papers crinkly and a shade of something that's been stored away too long. He saw little spots dotted on every sheet, in the exact same spot. It stunk like old dust and wrinkled down sheets, and Kadaj wasn't surprised if a bug flew out from between the pages.

"It's the original script. I thought it'll be better."

Cloud took the book from his hand and sat down in his love seat, opening the script to a random page.

"I'm gonna read a random paragraph. If you know where it's from, speak up."

He touched a line on the page and began reading, glancing at Kadaj's reaction once in awhile.

" _My soul, corrupted by vengeance hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey-"_

" _In my own salvation and your eternal slumber._ LOVELESS, Act IV."

Cloud rose a brow and flipped through pages again, settling on a page farther from it.

" _Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul. Pride is lost-"_

" _Wings stripped away, the end is nigh._ LOVELESS, Act II."

Cloud stopped once more, voice heavily suspicious.

" _My friend, do you fly away now?  
To a world that abhors you and I?"_

He waited for Kadaj to catch up and stared at him.

" _All that awaits you is a somber morrow  
No matter where the winds may blow. _Act III."

It was then Cloud shut the book and set it down.

"You sure you've never read this?"

Cloud asked, tilting his head to the side. He scooted closer to the remnant, Kadaj in turn coming close to him.

"I've never heard of LOVELESS until now. It's like the words are put in my brain, like somebody branded them in my mind."

He glanced at Cloud's face now and then, averting his gaze.

"Then you must know the final act. Nobody knows the final act, they end the play at Act IV."

Kadaj tilted his head to the side, almost confused.

"Why would they end it like that?"

Cloud shrugged, standing up and placed the book on the shelves.

"Beats me. There's a rumor that the author died before it could ever be finished. People make variations of what the endings should and shouldn't be."

It was Kadaj's turn to stand up, patting the dust off his clothes. Cloud really didn't like dusting his apartment, it seemed.

"I don't know why but it's… Branded in my head. You think

Sephiroth did it?"

Cloud visibly flinched at the name, clenching his fists. It was at this moment Kadaj realized Sephiroth meant more to him a crazy pain in the ass who wanted the world to burn down. He knew they had _something_ in the past, they had to. Nobody would just _hate_ him like Cloud would.

Kadaj also saw something else whenever he laid eyes on him. It wasn't there physically but it was buried inside deep down, almost so deep Cloud couldn't take it out even if he wanted too. He knew the effect he had whenever he was around, the remnant wasn't stupid. Cloud didn't just see Kadaj, he saw _Him._

And despite how much he wanted to be like Him in the past, the want was fading away. Rapidly.

"I'm sorry."

Kadaj looked away, almost regretfully and bent down to put away all the files.

"I can just go back, just drop me off at Rikku's and you'll be fine."

He swallowed thickly and brushed silver strands out of his eye, rather messily joining them together with a paper clip.

"You don't have to be sorry. You can stay… If you want."

Cloud's voice sounded rather off, almost too foreign to be his. But when the remnant turned around and caught sight of his unusually glowing mako blues and the soft smile, he felt part of his heart warming up.

"I guess. The beds here are soft, and I don't have to wake up with sand in my eyes."

Kadaj found himself laughing, devoid of the insanity it usually carried.

"I never really knew how your hair spikes up. Is it 'cause of the Mako?"

Cloud hummed. His fingers stroked the outline of the new cell phone in his pocket. The blonde flipped it open, dexterous fingers pressed the keypad, deciding on small words he didn't even bother spelling out. Every now and then he glanced at Kadaj under his eyelid, just in case he peered over his shoulder.

"Not really."

He mumbled, hitting the last key and pressed "send". Vincent wasn't busy with Cid, he could answer a message.

'Call me when u can. Need ur help.'

Cloud just hoped Kadaj didn't pick up.


	9. IX

_**This is a short filler and I know I haven't updated in a month but please bear with me. There's still a few chapters left in this story - actually no, more than a few - but I've been working on another fanfic, so updates for this fic are slow. Again please bear with me, I'll try to update as fast as I can and never go over the monthly deadline.**_

 _ **Anyway, enjoy!**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: go back to ch 1**_

* * *

"This is weird Vincent, it's beyond anything I've seen."

Cloud whispered in the phone, peering through the curtains and made sure Kadaj was sleeping soundly on the couch.

" _Did he say something about Sephiroth?"_

"No, in fact he said nothing. It's like he doesn't know anything… Or doesn't care."

He understood too, if somebody like _Sephiroth_ was nestled deep in your blood and _his_ blood flowed fluently in your veins, the fact that a monster was still present yet not there… He'll do anything to forget.

" _Maybe he doesn't want you to know?"_

 _What?_

"Vincent, what are you saying?"

Cloud whispered, glancing over his shoulder every second. Kadaj was still laying there, silver hair plastered over his eye and for once in his life he had the most peaceful expression Cloud's ever seen. The white wool blanket he grabbed from the closer covered his body and one pale hand fell over the edge.

" _I'm saying that if Sephiroth really did create Kadaj based on Genesis, maybe he remembers… About what happened to him before he went insane."_

"He doesn't remember… Hell he doesn't even know who Sephiroth is."

Cloud went on to explain that even though Kadaj was Sephiroth's remnant - _and Gaia forbid he was his_ _ **son**_ _in the same sense_ \- he didn't know his creator, much less what he looked like and what he did. All he knew was that Mother only cared about Sephiroth and never about them.

" _I see… Maybe one of his brother's know?"_

Cloud scoffed.

"Kadaj's brothers are dead. They've been dead, it's only him."

" _Are you sure about that?"_

Cloud felt something ice cold flip in his chest and stomach and the thought all _three_ of them were alive.

"Where are they?"

He glanced over Kadaj and knew almost certainly they would come for him.

He didn't hear anything from Vincent for almost ten minutes, enough for him to go through piles of paper on his desk and pull out a clean one.

"Vincent? _Answer me_."

He spoke up, turning his head and saw Kadaj shuffle around on the couch, not really awake.

" _Maybe Shinra didn't tell you everything."_

Cloud dropped the pen and stared blankly at the paper in shock, realizing the photograph he kept to himself was long gone.

He went through piles and piles of paper, throwing them around everywhere but didn't find it.

 _Where is it?_

"How do you know this?"

He whispered, lowering his voice.

" _I worked for Shinra once. I know what they're hiding. And it's worse than Deepground."_

Cloud didn't answer, he just sat in a chair and rubbed his eyes. He stared down at the pile of papers he gathered from the Shinra library but nothing matched up.

"What're they hiding?"

 _Why Genesis? Why Deepground?_

" _I'm afraid Tseng would be inclined to answer that question. He may not know it yet but he's what you're looking for. He's the key."_

The phone buzzed, Vincent long gone. It didn't matter now because all Cloud cared about what another reunion with _that thing._

He promised Marlene, he promised Tifa, he promised Denzel he wouldn't let anything happen to them. And if his brother's were still alive, they'll ruin everything.

 _Oh if only he knew…_

Cloud stood up and scribbled down on a piece of paper he left to the library again. Only this time he included a small heart after his name.

* * *

"Thank you."

Rufus almost whispered, his nose blocked so he couldn't smell the sweet tea Tseng made him. He caught a cold yesterday, which was probably why he was _way_ too tired to work today.

"Don't go back to the slums again. It's stupid of you to even eat something there, Gaia knows what they put in the meat."

Tseng sat down on the bed, handing him a bag of Wutainese cookies he baked in the morning.

"Are these sugar coated? It's almost like you know the way to my heart."

Rufus chuckled, his voice nasally.

"Well you do have a cold, your majesty."

Tseng finally managed to drop the formalities but only after repeated threats of laying off.

Rufus bit into one of the cookies and moaned in pleasure, the crumbs almost melting in his mouth.

" _Oh Gaia…_ it feels like sex."

Tseng actually laughed, one of the most rarest ones to escape his mouth. It was loud, unlike the quiet chuckles, it was _loud._ Almost like he forgot to hold back and it all just _escaped_.

"Sex? You compare sugar coated cookies to sex?"

Rufus swallowed down the crumbs and held one up, shutting Tseng's laughs down with a cookie.

"Shut up, I bet you stole elixir from the goddess and dumped it all into these."

Tseng chuckled and took the cookie in, swallowing it down.

"It's just Wutainese cookies. You can literally buy it across the street."

Rufus shot him a look, taking a sip of tea.

"I'd rather eat them off of you, no thanks."

The cookies were crunchy but as soon as they crumbled up, they melted in his mouth and dissolved along with the sugar.

Tseng had a distant look in his eyes, staring off into nothing. Rufus actually liked this kind of Tseng, mostly his eyes. Molten chocolate melting on his hand but it dripped off before he could have a taste.

Rufus took the time to look over the whole house, flowers placed neatly on the table and for some still looked alive. He's been in here and slept in here longer than he's even slept in his own room, yet the entire time he's been here the same translucent golden white and yellow flowers were still alive.

"What do you feed your flowers?"

Tseng snapped out of his reverie, taking a deep breath. He ended up chuckling.

"I actually have no idea, I just put them in water and buy flower food from the store down the street. They were supposed to die two months ago, I have no idea how they're still alive."

All of a sudden Tseng's smile fell like he was remembering something important. He looked away and stared at the flower.

"I got advice from Aerith. She mostly told me about flowers. After she, you know… She got me into them."

He looked at the flower pot, the petals gathering around but the flower was still healthy almost as if it never lost its petals.

Rufus nodded, sipping his tea. He understood about Aerith despite meeting her once in his life, it was almost like he knew her for years. She was just so friendly…

He could tell Tseng was getting sad so he coughed and gestured up to the pink flower painting on the wall.

"Do you have anything from Wutai?"

Tseng snapped out of his gaze and looked at him, blinking.

"Wutai…? Oh wait… I think I do."

He stood up and left the room, sounds of stairs creaking being heard.

Rufus sighed and leaned his head back, staring at the bleak wallpaper and the paintings of colorful pink trees and flower petals decorating the ground.

He was still confused why Tseng even bothered to stay with him. If he was from Wutai and since he must've been a child while they were still in their glory days, why change and join the very people they despised?

It takes something incredible for a man to abandon all he ever knew and join the enemy. Somebody they warned him about, something that guaranteed he'll be hunted for the rest of his life.

His family must've left him if he left, Tseng joined the Turks when he was about seventeen or eighteen, still a child in their eyes. A child that tried so hard to break free-

Was Wutai different from what Rufus heard?

He got all his stories from the SOLDIER's. They said Wutai was a beautiful place inside the capital but outside it was littered with poverty. The small villages near the capital was dirt poor and one village was right next to a huge muddy forest. It was easy to get lost in there and people were always advised to stay out.

The forest always intrigued Rufus and for some reason he always wanted to explore in there.

 _I wonder what village Tseng stayed in._

Speaking of the man, he came down holding a wooden intricate box. He sat down and brushed strands of black hair by his ear.

"I have a few toys and something else in the bottom."

He opened it and took out a straw laced doll with buttons and a dark brown wood chip for a mouth.

"I had this for years, my mother gave it to me before she passed. We were very poor so we didn't have wealthy items in our house."

 _So he did come from the poor villages._

Rufus held the toy and avoided the spikes on the doll so he wouldn't prick his finger.

"It's cute. I have one myself but it's… Porcelain."

Rufus snickered, his laughs turning into coughs. Tseng patted his back.

"The people living in the capital had porcelain dolls but we only had cloth and straw dolls apparently."

Tseng smiled and delved into the box one more time pulling out a ball. But it wasn't an ordinary ball.

Crystal encased the outside and inside it was like there was a soul trapped in the center, swirling around.

"M-Materia?"

Tseng held it in his hand, wrapping it up in a soft cloth.

"Don't tell that Kisaragi girl but I stole it from her box."

He winked, earning a laugh from Rufus. The blonde lifted up the flaps and noticed something covering the bottom of the box, almost like a protective layer.

"What's in here?"

Tseng rose a brow and noticed the protective layer. He hooked a finger into the little opening and picked it up.

There was a beautiful flower entranced crown, held together by a vine. The pink petals seemed to shimmer in the lights and to Rufus it all seemed too otherworldly.

"Oh my god-"

He reached into touch it but Tseng held his wrist, shaking his head.

"No, don't. The last time somebody touched it, one of the petals died. Only I can pick it up."

Tseng held the delicate flower crown, the pink petals seemed to release some sort of glitter.

"I have no idea how I managed to keep it alive all this time. I kept it for years, they never seem to die."

He chuckled and placed it on Rufus' head, the petals glowing and dropping some incense.

Tseng started laughing at the sight. Rufus was too innocent, the sight of him wearing the crown was too much.

"You look so cute right now."

He gave him a peck on the cheek, the blonde's face heating up.

"Hey come on, don't say that."

Rufus wanted to see himself in the mirror but he was too lazy. The man seemed to read his mind so he stood up and grabbed a camera off the stand.

"Smile, Rufus."

The blonde looked up unamused into the lenses, the same frown plastered on his face.

Tseng snapped a picture anyway, holding it up so Rufus could see. The disinterested blonde man glaring at the camera but any seriousness faded with the pink flower crown on his head. However his green eyes flashed and it certainly wasn't the camera.

"Your eyes are smiling then."

Rufus rolled his eyes and playfully hit his forearm.

"Shut up… I'll cut your pay."

Tseng rose a brow.

"Cut my pay? What, you don't want to fire me now?"

The blonde bit his lip and leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"If I fire you, I won't see you again. And plus I know you'll steal money somewhere."


	10. X

_**DISCLAIMER: go back to chapter 1**_

* * *

"Rude, over there!"

Loz rolled under a car and hid. It was a long story how he started hunting _demons_ \- or how Loz called them.

It all started when the clone started complaining about Turk work and how whenever they got the missions where it was just a go-in and take-out method, Loz complained it was too _easy._ Then when Tseng started giving them work where they had to take out the target, sneak by the bodyguards and steal actual _valuable_ items, he complained it was yet again too _easy_.

So Tseng, the one who just _loved_ to play games gave them a job. A job only _elite_ Turks like him could do, and it was the absolute worst.

At least Loz would think twice before he started to complain.

Rude fired a single shot and perfectly caught the demonized man by the forehead.

"Easy."

The dark skinned man turned to open the door and let the stumbling remnant slip past him.

"That was fun! All the bad guys usually give me a headache but that was _so_ fun!"

Rude smirked and heard Loz giggle something else about fun demons. He didn't understand how Loz out of all people could stay so cheery while everything else around them fell.

He kicked the corpse of a demon, neon green essence oozing out from their wounds.

Loz started laughing and had to lean against a car to keep himself in check.

"Corpses infused with Mako. Looks like they went mad and became addicts."

Rude pulled Loz away from the corpse because he felt like the man was getting off at seeing it bleed out.

"Their bodies are dunked in Mako baths, they like the effect. Their blood isn't blood anymore, it's just liquid Mako."

Rude walked down the street, the corpses all dissolving. Loz was smiling, walking fast with him.

"They're better than people!"

Just then Rude stopped.

He clicked his gun and slowly turned his head, his smirk gone. Even though Loz couldn't see past the sunglasses, the mood suddenly shifted to a tense one. One where Rude's stature resembled somebody who caught the clone wrapping his hands around a child's neck.

It felt that bad.

Loz gulped and looked up at him, giving an awkward laugh.

"W-What's up Rudy?"

His clueless green eyes glimmered, stomach tied in knots.

"Rudy-"

" _Better than people_?"

Loz's smile just suddenly fell, a whole weight crashing down on him.

"Oh uh, you can't just assume that-"

"Better than people, Loz? You mean you enjoyed killing them?"

Back when the two remnants first surfaced they were just wandering around until Reno discovered them. Tseng wasn't sure what they were doing beforehand and didn't care either, the Turks were diminished in numbers and wasn't expecting any new recruits anytime soon. Even though they posed a threat, Tseng just wanted manpower, enough to protect the president.

Now looking back at it, Rude really wished he did the check up the first month they were gone.

He could remember the first mission they had together, it was just an in-out job, one where they had information about firearms and a security breach. It was successful, unlike the other one two months ago where the mole had a bomb strapped to his chest and Loz nearly got blown apart.

Rude recalled all the people Loz had to kill in order to get info, how he realized he felt nothing at all right there but once he got home the clone started to crumble. He tried telling Rude he needed to see the victim's families, needed to apologize, say how it was all his fault for not _giving them a chance._

"N-No, I don't wanna kill-"

"You just said that killing demons was better than people. What, you liked killing them before?"

"No, I-"

Rude wasn't having it.

"' _That was better than people'_ you got a kick from killing them, or else you wouldn't say that. What's so special on putting a bullet through a demon's head that it's better than putting it through a man's head?"

Loz was dumbfounded but most of all he was confused but also stressed.

"I don't wanna put it through a man's head, Rudy you heard wrong-"

Rude was feeling anger but also hurt boiling in his stomach, just watching Loz try and back up what he said.

"You remember Syn? The Wutainese guy that had launch codes, everything about Deepground? What happened huh? I told you to spare him but no you just laughed and shot him. Right in the forehead."

Now Loz's eyebrows knit together.

"Because he had launch codes, he could've ordered a strike on Midgar I couldn't-"

" _Could've!_ He could've done it, he could've ordered one but no, you could see how he begged, how he said he was gonna give it up but no-"

" _He wouldn't give it either way! That's what all of them do!"_

Loz suddenly yelled at him, getting defensive. Rude could see tears gathering in his green eyes under the dim streetlamp.

"What about Prancer? Ghoul?"

Loz backed up, his hands shaking. His bottom lip started quivering, obviously losing control of keeping his emotions in check.

"Mehta, Arian, Eden? All those people, they were in the way and all you did was shoot them-"

He could see Loz was starting to break down now, his hand clasped over his mouth as tears fell down freely.

"What, you're just going to cry? That's your alternative? Well it's not gonna go by me, come here-"

He grabbed the clueless man's arms, ripping his hands out of his face.

"Those people deserve better, they don't need you."

All of a sudden Loz's voice quivered, spilling out a name.

"Huh? Another one you killed?"

Rude shook him, the name coming again but masked by the tears.

"Come on _, say it_ -"

" _Zack!"_

Loz broke down, his knees giving out under him.

" _Zack, Zack I'm sorry, it's my-"_

Lucky for them they were covered by the night air. The lights were dimmed, the only thing they could hear around them was the wind blowing and Loz's disoriented and unfiltered sobs.

" _Zack don't leave, don't leave… he was wrong, all of them were wrong… no point, he died anyway…"_

All in the while, Rude was confused just standing there watching Loz break down clinging to his leg.

 _The hell?_

"Who's Zack?"

Rude figured softening his tone would bring him back. The sight of Loz broken and struggling to find words, much less think, was killing him. He felt a pang of regret hitting him, suddenly wishing he never lost it and had control over his words. Instead he messed up, letting his emotions run rampant.

Loz was special to Rude, he never wanted to hurt him, much less pressure him to do something. He promised him he wouldn't hurt him like Mother.

He wasn't so sure on that now.

Zack was the man Tseng never spoke about. There was a photograph of him hung up on his office wall. The Wutaian yelled at people who stared at it for too long, almost like it was sacred.

All the Turks knew was that he was somebody special.

Very special.

"Loz can you please tell me-"

"No."

Loz refused to look up at him, red rimmed eyes brimming with tears and his face blotchy.

"I don't know him… I don't know who Zack is…"

The poor remnant had that edge to his voice, the miserable one. The one where a new wave of tears were coming.

"I don't know who Zack is, who is he…"

"Loz-"

" _Who the fuck is he!"_

He yelled, long nails digging in his pants.

"Get him out, I don't want him in my head, get him out…" the remnant whined.

Rude finally bent down and carefully pulled him in his arms, Loz immediately digging his tear blotched face in his shoulder. Rude could tell it was hours before he moved.

"I'm sorry Rudy…"

The clone rubbed his eyes, body racking with another wave of sobs.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save them, I could've done something, their families…"

Loz wept in his shoulder, Rude just sucking it in and allowing all of it to flood in.

It's all his fault.

"They're over it… and you should be too."

As much as Rude meant that, he couldn't do it himself.

* * *

"So you aren't gonna tell me anything?"

Cloud sat in a big chair facing Rufus who was too busy staring out the window. He did a good job ignoring people, countless interviews and meetings did that.

Cloud snapped a finger in the president's line of sight. The man finally tore his eyes from the clouds.

"Why does Deepground exist? Don't say you don't know because either it doesn't exist or it's under your radar."

Cloud knew the workarounds with Shinra's lies, if they said they didn't know, it was just a huge bluff. They knew everything.

"It's confidential."

 _Of course_ , it's confidential.

"I help you with Sephiroth, I help you remove your dad from power, I help you with Jenova, and you won't tell me about Deepground? Cause it's _confidential_?"

Cloud grit the handle of the chair, Rufus' inability to cooperate was tearing his patience. All these years and he finally knew how to regain his emotions, yet the patience part was still in the works.

"Yes Cloud, it's confidential."

The blonde rose his hands in disbelief, glancing out to what Rufus was staring at. He caught sight of a certain scribble on the wall, something squiggly he couldn't make out. He squinted to see better and _finally_ he knew how to get to him.

"If I ask Tseng will he tell me it's confidential?"

And finally Rufus' green eyes landed on him.

"Of course he will-"

"Even if I mention that Deepground used wounded SOLDIER's for 'testing'? Especially captured Wutai prisoners? _Political_ Wutai prisoners?"

Cloud only had a minute to register the shocked expression on Rufus' face.

" _Oh_. Don't tell me he doesn't know about _that_."

All of a sudden the president's face flared with redness, his green eyes flashing dangerously. They reminded him of Kadaj.

"Cloud the words that come out of your mouth never leave this room, got that?"

"What? Now that you answered my question-"

" _What question Cloud?!"_

"That you didn't try to deny you used poor innocent civilians to create mindless sheep to lead into battle? With SOLDIERS - _with Sephiroth_ , mind you - at least they had a mind. A conscience. Now with these Deepground soldiers they won't question anything, right?"

" _No!"_

But Rufus wasn't getting mad. He was just closing his eyes, the red from his face dying down, a poor expression on his face. It almost looked _relieved._

If it wasn't the fact he was an asshole with a nice haircut, Cloud would've felt sorry for him.

"The reason… the reason why they're still up is because… I don't want to risk it."

His voice was soft, his gaze staring down at the desk.

"Many, many years ago Deepground was just a facility where the heavily wounded SOLDIERS were treated, a second chance if they couldn't make it. It wasn't bad, it was never meant to be bad… Somewhere along the line my father ordered this… new program which _just in case_ protected Shinra of another war, where SOLDIERS wouldn't question what they were led to. Where they wouldn't _'kill their commander_ ' or some shit he made up. So he built a subdivision to the new infirmary where… the wounded which _really_ couldn't make it out were transferred there… where they… they… made sure they wouldn't rebel."

The blonde looked just about right to vomit all over the desk. He looked so guilty, he was just gonna puke everywhere.

"They dunked them in Mako baths, whipped them with these… whips made out of Materia, filled up their stomach with… 'non toxic' shiny things, and I'm pretty sure you know what that is… The point is my father is a monster for allowing this. And I'm a monster as well for forgetting."

As soon as he heard 'Mako baths' he recalled the time many years ago where Sephiroth pushed the both of them in the Lifestream, where many months later he woke up to himself in a wheelchair. Tifa said something along the lines of 'vegetative state' and 'tube eating' and other stuff he couldn't recall. He remembered he couldn't walk for two months because of how numb his legs were. He remembered the voices, _oh god_ the voices.

Although the lifestream and the Mako baths was different things, somewhat, Cloud couldn't imagine how their sanity was like.

"You wanna fix your mistakes, right?"

The blonde's dim litted eyes traveled up to him.

"Why don't you shut it down?"

"I can't."

Cloud straightened up in the chair.

"You're the president, why can't-"

" _I can't, Cloud."_

Rufus' nails dug into the wooden desk.

"They're by themselves now. Shinra is just a banner plastered in their wall, we don't have control over them now. It's just a band of savages down there, foaming around the mouth. They have their own rules, their own government. _I_ don't have control. _I_ can't shut them down. The reason why they're still up and running is because every time I sent a unit to shut them down they never came back up. It's just a bunch of sewer rats down there, repopulating any chance they get. _I can't shut them down."_

Cloud swallowed thickly. Rufus bit his lip, raw emotion he forgot to conceal evident on his face.

"I lost them, Cloud."

All of a sudden a knock on the door interrupted them, Elena clutching a pile of papers coming through. She was smiling but then her smile fell when she looked at Cloud.

"Ah uh… is this a bad time?"

She laughed nervously, shifting on one heel to another.

"Tseng finished signing the papers, he said it's urgent… You know, to fill out.

When silence graced the room, she smiled painfully and set them on the bookshelf.

"Yeah uh, Mr. President? Silver finished the job, he's just hanging around-"

"Then relieve him. He's done enough."

Cloud was confused who this _'Silver'_ was so he just twiddled his thumbs.

"You sure? Cause you know how he is-"

"I said kick him out, Elena. Don't make me say it again."

A certain sternness added to his voice, making her nod her head and immediately leave.

"Of course. Oh and Cloud the elevator's broken so you're just gonna have to use the stairs. Again."

She shut the door rather loudly leaving the two men in awkward positions.

"Care to answer one more question about Deepground?"

Rufus looked like he was gonna kick the desk in but complied unwillingly.

"What is it?"

"What does Genesis Rhapsodos have to do with this?"

The president snickered, biting on his lip. Cloud was pleasantly surprised since it was hard for him to crack a smile.

" _Genesis Rhapsodos_? If Sep- if _Tseng_ heard that…"

He coughed awkwardly.

"He was the seed for this monstrosity. They used his genes for their studies implanting them when they were fetuses, like we were doing to SOLDIERS… it was the key for their savagery, paired with the torture that made them unstoppable."

Cloud had a feeling he was lying but brushed it aside. He'll ask Vincent for the truth. _If he'll even answer the phone._

"So Sephiroth didn't have anything to do with this, to do with Genesis?"

Rufus hesitated to answer, quickly swiping his tongue across his bottom lip.

"No, he didn't. Deepground was all Genesis. Sephiroth wasn't involved with him- wasn't involved with Deepground."

He nodded, almost reassuring himself he said the correct things.

Cloud figured that was all he had to know, just the basics.

"Hm. Fine."

He stood up, brushing his fingers over his clothes. He heard something shuffle towards him on the desk and glanced down. His blue eyes caught on a picture of Rikku, the elder from the Al Bhed camp.

"We talked to her and she denied ever seeing Kadaj. Strange, a droid said he saw him but the elder leader said she never heard the name. Even the lie detectors came out correct."

Cloud took the picture of Rikku, swallowing thickly and placed it back on the table. For a brief moment he wondered if Rikku was in danger. If the 'questioning' involved something physical, not verbal.

He shrugged and turned his back, his hand on the doorknob.

"What can I say. I'm a good mercenary."


	11. XI

_**How do I write Kadaj? Just pretend you're writing a Yuri on Ice fanfic with Yuri Plisetsky as Kadaj lmao (no but seriously he's literally Kadaj and Cloud's lovechild he has Kadaj's hairstyle and green eyes (he's also a little bitch) and Cloud's blonde hair)**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER : go back to chap 1**_

* * *

"I don't understand, why all this Deepground stuff? Why are you obsessed with this Cloud?"

Kadaj's lips were a bit pouted and his green eyes peered up at him. The blonde set down the papers ignoring him.

"Does it have to do with whoever Genesis is-"

"No. It doesn't."

Cloud answered fast, a bit too fast.

"It doesn't matter to you. I'm just worried it's another Shinra regime, that's all."

The ex-merc shuffled around the papers, putting them in a pile. He began sketching something on a written document with red pen. Something very important.

' _Find location. Immediately.'_

He just wondered something: why hold back? Why couldn't Rufus just take them down? He was Shinra, all he could do was march in and kill everyone _,_ why didn't he do something?

He had all the armies in the world, he had all the SOLDIERS in the world, anyone who was still loyal to the company would help. They could take down Deepground, right?

Why was it taking him this long?

Sure they had their own lawless society but why couldn't they just squash them unsuspectedly?

This underground company was still operating under President Shinra's command, that felt so long ago compared to him. That was when he was still at Nibelheim, with his mom.

Before _He-_

"Can I help?"

The teen hoisted himself up on a seat, his delicate pale hands tiny compared to Cloud's. Yet they were still able to beat him. They were clenching around a document which details special trained soldiers, Rufus called them _Tsviets._

"Had Genesis' genes? Is that why he's so important?"

Kadaj was busy reading about what they were he didn't notice Cloud was watching him. _Again._

"What I don't understand is why they even bother to do Genesis, wasn't Mother's DNA the same?"

Cloud was caught off guard with what Kadaj knew about SOLDIER but then again he did bring in documents from their library.

"Well no, Jenova's DNA was already used in a separate project called Project G which Genesis came out of. It was a 'failure' for the most part since he started degenerating at a rapid rate. His body wasn't built for Jenova's cells."

Cloud coughed, looking down. He was afraid he creeped Kadaj out by staring at him but he _couldn't help staring at those pouty lips and pink cheeks-_

"But why use Genesis? Can't they just use Mother's cells?"

Kadaj noticed his staring and shifted in his seat, coughing. Cloud snapped out of it and shook his head.

 _C'mon Cloud, he's not that interesting._

"They already used Jenova's cells and it was successful with Sephiroth and Angael, maybe the President wanted something different? My theory is that these soldiers don't think and just do as they're told, like robots. I think that's exactly what the President wanted all along."

Cloud didn't know why but his thoughts trailed back to Vincent. That phone call - _which was the last time he talked to him -_ was strange enough on its own.

He sounded rough and hurried, like he was in the middle of finding something great. It's a possibility Cloud wasn't the only one researching Deepground, since Vincent Valentine knew absolutely everything about everybody. No matter how safeguarded the secrets were in Shinra, Valentine was always a step ahead.

Since Kadaj's attack, Rufus decided to go out in public, make them trust him more. Sure he had a bunch of classified secrets swept under the rug but that didn't need to spill.

But Vincent, always Vincent, lifted up the rug and knew _everything._

"So if the President ordered an entire village to be slaughtered, they'd do it?"

Cloud intentionally wanted to dodge the question but his skin was crawling for an answer.

"No, SOLDIERs aren't trained for that yet. They mostly taught them about the mission, it had to be done no matter the cost. Nobody needed to die but… if they were in the way or trying to kill you, you had to act fast."

He had a sense he was sickening Kadaj than entertaining him. Funny how time passed.

"But that's only for higher ups. I didn't do that, never really… got into SOLDIER."

This just made the boy glance up in shock, bright green eyes flashing for a second.

"But how do you know so much about it, you even know where the rooms are, what the higher ups did, you went in Lazard's office-"

"That wasn't me, that was… Zack."

Just saying the name made his body rigid with ice. He remembered how he used to like Zack, he loved him. It would almost be the same with Kadaj except-

Same with Kadaj?

 _Zack wasn't anywhere near Kadaj._

"Zack… you mean the guy with the scar on his face and _really_ blue eyes?"

The remnant stood up from the couch, the bottom of Cloud's oversized black pants dragging loosely on the floor. He made his way to the kitchen, Cloud hearing pots and pans hitting each other.

Cloud was about to ask how on earth he knew about Zack Fair but then the thought struck him Kadaj saw Zack in the Lifestream the year he was off.

"Yeah… he was my friend. My best friend."

 _Heart pounding in his ears, hands shaking, breath coming in puffs as cold ghostly drops of rain fell on his skin._

"Actually we were more than friends, he… he meant a lot to me. The world to me."

He swore his voice broke, his jaw slack. He refused to look up in fear he'd end up breaking down in front of Kadaj.

 _At least somebody's keeping up!_

Faint whispers bounced off the halls in his head like music but nothing he wanted to hear. No, anything but that…

' _Well, I'm a country boy too.'_

 _From where?_

Nails scratching wood, flies buzzing, buzzing-

' _Nibelheim_.'

Laughter ringing like bells, like a church. Zack's laugh was like a church, you could hear it from a mile away but no matter how loud it was it eased all the tension in your body. Just hearing it lifted you up from how down you were…

' _How about you?'_

 _Me? Gongaga._

Cloud remembered how funny it was when it fell on his ears, it wasn't that he heard about Gongaga until Zack brought it up but it's just that Nibelheim and Gongaga at that time was a shock to most people. Probably nobody heard of those two places, anything not relating to Shinra hub was unheard of.

 _Hey, what's so funny about that? You know Gongaga?_

' _No but… it's such a backwater name.'_

 _Ditto, Nibelheim._

The blonde recalled how taken aback he was at first but this was a SOLDIER, could you talk back at one?

' _Like you've been there.'_

 _I haven't but there's a reactor there, right?_

That damn reactor.

At that time Cloud thought it was cool there was a Mako reactor near his village, now he wished he never saw that blasted thing. A disease, of what it was.

 _A Mako reactor outside Midgar usually means…_

' _Nothing else out there.'_

He laughed out loud, in the midst of a floodgate. His lip quivered, fists clenching as he nearly broke the chair handles.

 _Good news Tseng, me and…_

"Cloud..?"

' _Cloud.'_

 _Me and Cloud, we're both-_

"Cloud?"

 _Backwater experts._

"Cloud!"

Scraping.

That's the sound that brought him back. Kadaj was standing in front of him, silver floppy hair in his face as he scraped the bottom of the pan. That wasn't even the thing he noticed, he noticed the _concern_ on his face like he was worried Cloud was gonna hurt himself.

 _Why would he be worried?_

"You okay there? You just blanked out for a second- _are you crying_?"

The blonde registered the worry in his voice, not necessarily threatening but almost sad he couldn't make him forget. But why? Kadaj didn't know Zack the way he had, why even worry about him?

Cloud wiped his face from the cold tears with his gloved hands, the leather an inconvenience. He wanted something soft like hands.

Tifa's soft pearly hands always smelling like perfume or hand lotion was something he needed now.

He didn't realize Kadaj was still standing there but the pan disappeared somewhere else and his hands were clean, smelling like daisies in a meadow.

"U-Uh…"

Kadaj grabbed a box of tissues off the nightstand and gave it to him hastily, his face starting to gain color.

"I don't know why you're crying, I don't know if it has to do with Zack but he's happy… in the lifestream. He kept on talking nonstop about you, Aerith too-"

 _Oh no not her…_

The look on Cloud's face registered to Kadaj, prompting the remnant to quickly wipe his ears with the bundled up tissues in his hand, stuttering.

"H-Hey uh look don't do this to me I don't know how to deal with somebody crying! Yazoo always did that, I don't know anything!"

Kadaj was busy defending himself but also trying not to offend Cloud that he didn't realize the blonde was staring at his hands. The small soft ones, pearly white compared to his.

"Loz used to cry like a baby and I didn't know what to do to calm him down, Mother didn't help and Yazoo was the only one there! I mean Loz was weak and counted on us for everything but that's not the point-"

The remnants hands were suddenly grabbed by Cloud who held them in his palms. His voice quickly cut, the blonde shushing anything he had to say. Kadaj opened his mouth to say something, possibly out of shock until he felt the hands being…

 _Kissed?_

Kadaj's eyes went wide like saucers, shocked cat green flashing up at Cloud. His face was tomato red, and his voice hit an all time high.

" _C-Cloud_?"

He stuttered, watching the blonde close his eyes and kiss his wrists and palms, turning the soft hand over to kiss his knuckles. Kadaj's heart raced in his chest, looking away out the window.

Unlike the tent, this wasn't solely based on lust. Kadaj didn't want to rip off the stupid velvet and leather black clothes Cloud wore which hugged his lean and muscled body. He didn't want Cloud to mark his body with love bites, while simultaneously thrusting into him. He didn't want-

 _Oh come on, stop fucking thinking of that._

"Cloud?"

Kadaj's voice came a little too high, tugging slightly. The blonde's blue eyes finally registered what he was doing and let go of them, the remnant taking them back.

Both of them stood there in awkward silence. Cloud's eyes were planted on the wall and Kadaj's were downcast at the floor. The remnant swore he heard the blonde's lips smack as if to say something but didn't, instead he just…

Stared.

 _I swear to god Yazoo would've loved this treatment…_

"Alright Deepground's still up and running didn't you say you found a base?"

Kadaj snapped the blonde back, the man's eyes blinking in shock.

"Yeah, Rufus he uh… he may have slipped a few hints and there. It's buried under the Shinra Headquarters, like in the basement."

Kadaj furrowed his brows, his eyes almost widening.

"What? Are you kidding me?"

The remnant was incredibly baffled stumbling on his words as he wrapped his mind around this.

"You mean to tell me that Deepground, the oh-so deadly program which tested on soldiers is buried under our noses? … _Shinra_?"

Kadaj started to laugh, a genuine one.

 _Wait… that would be so simple, what if we walk straight into a trap?_

"I still don't think it's safe for us to go alone. Can we get Vincent to come with us?"

The feeling of Cloud's lips was still on his hands in turn making Kadaj blush.

The name 'Vincent' prompted the blonde to turn his head, giving Kadaj a look in between of curiosity and anxiety.

"Valentine? I haven't been able to reach him… wait, how do you know he's looking into this?"

It suddenly made him wonder how much Kadaj knew about Deepground. Does he know he's been meeting with Rufus? Does he know the possibility of his brother's even being alive?

"You keep your notebook out, it's hard not to look when it's laying straight on the desk."

 _Oh that one. Thank Gaia it's not the other one._

Kadaj bent over the low table, his silver bangs in front of his face as he picked up the notebook, the one with scribbles almost nobody can read.

 _How many times have Tifa teased me over my handwriting?_

Cloud suddenly had a memory of when they were in school, mostly in first grade when he was beginning to read and write. All his other classmates around him managed to write words perfectly without bearing down on the pencil but every damn time Cloud finished a sentence it was accompanied by the teacher yelling at him for writing darkly and scribbling down 'like he was coloring with crayons'.

He never really cared, the kids all made fun of him anyway, if it was his hair, his voice, the fact he didn't have friends, the fact he didn't have a dad…

After what happened with Tifa, they all just called him a freak. Maybe that's what he was.

"Brother?"

The smallest remnant snapped him back still holding the notebook in his hands. He looked a little impatient but also concerned.

"Kadaj, how many times have I told you not to call me that?"

Cloud huffed, blonde thin eyebrows furrowed as he took the book back, clamping something down so he had a little trouble opening it.

"Well you didn't exactly answer me the first time, you keep on daydreaming when I'm talking!"

The remnant tried sizing up to the blonde but only managed to reach his shoulder. Cloud just brushed him aside putting the notebook away in his bag.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

He growled under his breath stamping his feet as he tried to get attention.

 _Literally looks like a toddler._

The ends of Cloud's mouth turned up in a chuckle, flicking his forehead.

 _Who does he think he is?_

Both of them thought at the same time.

" _Oh shut up!"_

Kadaj pushed him trying to piss off Cloud but only entertained him. He saw a glint in the blonde's eyes, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

"What the hell are you thinking?"

The remnant's voice rose in pitch, obviously he tried to be bigger but it failed tremendously.

"You're not thinking dirty thoughts are you- _Cloud_!"

Kadaj shrieked, his feet swooped off the ground. Cloud's strong hands were cupped around his thin waist, lifting him up high. He glared daggers at the blonde who only smirked and bounced him in the air like a little kid.

" _What the hell! Put me down!"_

He kicked him, stunned that it only bounced off of him as he watched the shit eating grin on Cloud's face expand.

"You remind me of a two year old, you know that-"

" _Put me down or I swear to Gaia I'll kick you in the-!_ "

The piercing sound of a phone going off cut him off, both darting their eyes on Cloud's cell phone on the table.

Kadaj was astonished that the blonde's facial expression could change so fast. From a rare mischievous grin and searing blue eyes to blank paper glass shattering on the ground.

Kadaj just stood there as Cloud left him to answer the phone. He registered how he tried to be happy but inside he was just… tired.

"What the hell man, I've been trying to reach you for, what, five years?... don't give me that bullshit Vincent… again? … Fine, I'll see you… Yeah… I'm gonna pass by Tifa's for a second though. Answer your phone, will you? See ya."

Cloud hung up on them, turning around to see Kadaj's confused face.

"That was Vincent, he's got something on Deepground."

The blonde brushed past the teen, bumping shoulders. He stuffed papers, a notebook and a soda can in his bag.

He came across the picture of Kadaj sitting on a bucket at the Al Bhed camp.

 _Why?_

He folded the edges of the photograph in his fingers.

 _Why do I still have this?_

The photo slipped from his hands. It landed perfectly on the table, face up.

"I forgot about them."

He heard Kadaj's voice behind him. Soft, lacking delusion, and young.

"What?"

Cloud turned around. The youth's hands were stuffed in his pant's pockets.

"The kids. But I guess that's a good thing, right? After what I did…"

His green eyes were downcast like a child who did something wrong and was yelled at by their parents.

"Did they uh… talk about me? After I died?"

For some reason every time Kadaj brought up the fact he died, it stung his heart. He remembered being there, holding him, watching Aerith come down and take him away… with all the rain pouring down…

Cloud refused to believe he was crying right in his face.

He wasn't crying.

After Kadaj dissolved, he remembered a part of him forcing his body to stand up and run after the crystals. He caught one but it just… dissipated.

"No, they didn't."

Cloud swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes cast at the wall because if he even dared steal a glance at Kadaj, he was gonna cry. He hated it. He hated looking weak.

"You sure about that? Why don't you look at me and say it."

The remnant had that bite in his voice.

 _Gaia, why are you so annoying?_

"Cloud? I'm getting mad."

 _If I look at you, I'll start crying, you'll think I'm a freak, you'll-_

There was harsh footsteps on the floor making their way to Cloud.

"I swear to god, how does Tifa even deal with-"

Kadaj snapped. A slender hand shot at his collar but unknown to him, Cloud's mind was everywhere.

The blonde's hand gripped his wrist holding it up and the other hand grabbed his shirt.

 _Pull? No push, wait push!_

It was too late. At the last minute Cloud dodged the soft lips his body wanted to kiss so badly and instead landed on his forehead.

Everything froze.

It's all so sudden Kadaj didn't talk. A sound came out sure, but that's all. His face instantly heated up.

 _This was just like a few moments ago. Except Cloud didn't listen to his body._

Kadaj just stood there in Cloud's arms with the blonde's _surprisingly soft_ lips kissing his forehead.

 _It could be worse._

"H-Huh? C-Cloud uh…"

Kadaj stammered, jade eyes wide as the blonde pulled away blush dusting his own face. Kadaj was gonna speak but his words caught in his throat when Cloud's thin lips turned up in a smile.

"They talked about you, twice. Denzel was scared to death, Marlene thought Loz was nicer…"

He scoffed, shocking Kadaj even more by talking to him.

"And that moogle girl… I don't know her name but she's terrified. I think she's angry at you 'cause of the stigma, you know? Her brother died of it."

Kadaj bit back his words. They threatened to spill but Cloud didn't need it falling on his ears. Not about the kids.

"Anyway I gotta get going. Don't leave the room, understand? Don't step out in the balcony and don't answer the door when somebody knocks."

The blonde zipped up his front, pocketing his cell phone.

"If there's an alarm or something it's usually false and again don't answer the door even if it's my friends-"

"Cloud-"

"Don't order out pizza, make some ramen or something, don't answer the phone-"

"Cloud…"

"And don't under any circumstances touch my notes, some of them are from like years ago when Sephiroth was still-"

"Cloud!"

The remnant was breathing harshly, as if holding tears back. Luckily none poked through so Cloud had no idea he was suffering.

"J-Just… at least make them seem like I changed?"

Kadaj sounded absolutely miserable.

Cloud actually felt something, like he was sorry for him. Luckily he had friends who helped him and never blamed him. Even when he had a history with Sephiroth or sympathized with Shinra - _very rarely_ \- they were there to support him.

But Kadaj has no one.

"You know I can't tell them you're alive, right? If I tell them it'll shatter everything. I worked so hard for them to trust me again and if I-"

"I know."

Kadaj cut him off, his gloomy deep emerald eyes refusing to meet his.

"You weren't around, right? Kids are kids, they'll forgive but they'll never forget."

The remnant took light steps towards the couch. He practically fell on it. His facial expression told it all.

"Just go. I'll find another way to forgive myself."

"Kadaj…"

 _Why are you feeling sorry for him?_

He took light steps towards him, a hand reaching out. Kadaj didn't even stop it. The hand went through the silver locks, as mesmerizing as moonlight.

"I'll find a way."

 _Why are you helping him?_

"I'll find a way to make them see. You're not the other Kadaj, you're actually trying this time."

He smiled and it caused the remnants heart to thump.

"Just stay here."

Cloud pulled away, his eyes still on the boy. His own heart pounded, his body stilled and filled with warmth as his stomach churned.

 _Why am I feeling this? Towards a Sephiroth remnant?_

Even when he picked up his keys and shut the door behind him, a thousand thoughts ran around in his head.

 _This better not backfire in the future._

* * *

Yazoo's heart burst in his chest.

 _Why did he do this?_

After what the moogle girl did, after what she went through he couldn't help but… _bond_ with her.

Of course all she'll do is cry for Denzel or Tifa or whoever to take her in. Of course it was Tifa and Strife, who else?

Nobody in Midgar was kind enough to extend their arms. Yazoo thought they were selfish cunts at first but finally it made sense to him.

The city almost got destroyed, a virus - _created by yours truly_ \- ravaged the entire region and a new threat of a deadly organization was on the rise.

 _This city's seen better times_.

Yazoo swept his soft hair behind his ears, sitting on the top of an apartment building overlooking the city.

What's good about Midgar was that nobody looked up. Maybe it was the meteor all those years ago so they just _can't_ look up.

 _Good, nobody saw me._

Yazoo caught a glimpse of the little girl running out of Tifa's shop. He stood up tilting his head as he followed her footsteps down the street. He jumped from one building to another keeping up with her.

That was… weird. She wasn't running from anything, yet so desperate.

She entered a building that was caved in and strangely excluded from the hustle and bustle of the city down below.

 _If I just walk in, she won't pull a gun on me will she?_

Tifa would've taught her at least how to wield a gun or a knife, throw a punch or kick, a little innocent girl in the slums wouldn't make it very far.

The man in the alleyway that night really set him off. He had no problem with killing people, he did it all the time but horrible, _disgusting_ wastes of spaces who take advantages of innocent children angered him.

He imagined having a child - _he'd be a shitty parent_ \- and just seeing them walk in, changed forever and detached so much, they weren't your child anymore.

' _You'd think Mother would look back at me years from now?'_

He asked Reno that question once. He knew all too well his answer.

 _Why would she? All moms are the same, they raise you up and dump you somewhere, yo._

' _But I won't dump them… When I have a kid, they'll-"_

 _You want kids? Sephiroth wants kids, yo? This ain't some cheap tactic to get your act together, right?_

He never snapped so fast at Reno before. He smacked him in the face.

' _I'm_ _ **not**_ _Sephiroth!'_

Before Yazoo could register the growing red clad mark on Reno's face he stood up and threw the door open. He just glanced back at Reno, the redhead still standing there in shock.

' _Why don't you grow up? It's been a fucking year and you still see me as a monster! I didn't destroy the planet, god damn it!'_

He panted, swallowing the lump in his throat.

' _I almost did, I don't see you doing anything! I hope your mom comes back and see what you've become!"_

Yazoo knew that was a low blow but he was angry, sick and tired of people viewing him as a one-way mirror.

Ever since then he didn't go back. It's been two weeks.

All Yazoo's been doing was sitting on the roof and watching Midgar. Anything better than going back to Reno.

He left his phone at home, he didn't want Shinra tracking him. He just went in sometimes when Reno was off duty and took jobs, coming back, took showers in the building and left.

He was fine without Reno, who was he kidding? He didn't need him, someday somebody would look at him the same way Loz does.

The moogle girl still didn't leave her shack.

The remnant jumped down, taking a deep breath.

 _Hope she doesn't have a gun._

Bending down to unlock the door, the remnant poked his head through glancing at the walls.

Pictures drawn by a child were pinned up, all in the same style. The girl was in her preteen's and the paper did look ancient…

 _Was that her brother? The one that died a year ago?_

Yazoo only got that from Reno, _the fucking imbecile,_ who rarely brought up victims of Geostigma but when he did it was all to remind Yazoo he was a mistake. All his brothers were mistakes.

 _God damn it don't get emotional here._

He wasn't going to cry over him. The Turk was stupid, he never cared about his life, all he did when Yazoo was gone was drink away his sorrows.

 _But what if he got into an accident? What if-_

He heard weeping from the bathroom.

The remnant was torn on checking up on her. What if she just pushed him out the door?

He poked his finger through the small opening of the dank bathroom, the smell of unclean walls and floors fogging up under his nose.

The girl was bent over a sink, body shaking as tears ran like rain down her porcelain cheeks. Hair clumped up in the sink, dark chestnut like hers, as a pair of sharp scissors laid in the mess. The grey strewn shirt she had on was ripped and the skirt was cut to pieces.

 _What the hell?_

He knew the girl was damaged, but _this?_

 _Suddenly foreign memories came back. None of them his own._

He didn't dare speak, afraid he'd shatter what was left of the sanity in her head. All he did was just stand there, hearing the tiny sobs coming from her mouth, almost feeling the thrumming and drops of tears cascading in the sink.

There were scars littered on her arms, too deep to be a mere accident. There were spots on her legs too, convulsing in her small chest. _Was it this bad?_ Yazoo thought. _Did we cause her that much pain?_

Yazoo swallowed thickly and reached his hand out touching her head.

Her remaining willpower left to stand up suddenly broke, sending her straight down the edge and into darkness. Hysterical sobs shook her thin frame, clawing from the inside to be heard. She fought to reclaim control of her body, stunned by the cries escaping her throat.

The remnant's lip trembled having to look away so he could face her.

"I'm sorry."

Was all he needed to say as the girl collapsed. The silverette blinked and took a deep breath scooping her trembling lithe body in his arms.

He laid her down on a ripped up couch, laying a blanket over her lower parts so she could have some decency.

Thank Gaia she didn't harm herself.

She cut her hair up to the nape of her neck, cutting the bangs too. Her hair was a mess, her whole life was a mess.

Yazoo felt tempted to cut her hair and snip away the uneven curls. He leaned in forward and touched her forehead, her temperature at an all time high.

"How lonely was she?"

The remnant saw pictures hung up on the walls, dated but preciously preserved pictures. They were all of her family, some of when she was a baby and most of them her brother.

 _The small boy._

He resembled his sister the most, with his hair and delicate face. He was an infant in one, pink cheeks, a two year old that just learned how to walk, and a five year old running around.

Too bad he didn't live until six.

The parents just faded, any small memory of them was just two pictures of the mother and the father. The mother was all Yazoo ever wanted, kind and the father was what he never had, strict but loved his family.

And then there was the little boy.

He saw a bunch of small kids with the stigma, recalled how utterly pathetic they looked. Most of them were impoverished orphans living in Edge, they died off the quickest. The richer, the tallest ones living in Midgar, the ones that still buried their precious money in a padlocked safe had the resources. They all lived to tell the tale but only through their own eyes. The ones that lived through it, the ones that hoped one day their memories would just fizzle away.

He had to sit back comfortably, tilting his head back as he stared up at the broken ceiling.

 _You caused a little girl to breakdown. A little girl who should've been having the time of her life with Denzel or Marlene and you had to come and fuck it all up._

What would've happened if the stigma didn't come about? It would've happened either way, the remnants just came out after. It's not like they _caused_ it. They just made it worse.

Yazoo could argue it was Kadaj all along but he was just a puppet. So was Sephiroth, he was just Mother's puppet to toy around with.

From all these _bizarre_ memories in his head, they were all in his eyes but he never experienced it. It might've been a memory to Sephiroth Kadaj was supposed to get but he never did.

With every shit storm the remnants conjured up, it would've made Sephiroth more tolerable. All they did was wreck stuff, at least Sephiroth had a plan.

 _But we are getting better, right?_

It wasn't a surprise Loz was in love with Rude, the mysterious allure enticed him. He wouldn't leave the silent Turk alone. At their first meeting Loz was all but joyful to see him again even if Rude wanted to sock him in the jaw.

 _But Reno…_

Maybe he was right. A little girl went crazy because of him and he didn't snatch up children for nothing.

 _Maybe I don't deserve a child. I'll just be like Mother anyway._

Yazoo's head snapped up at the sound of the girl letting out a tired groan. He moved on the chair, instincts kicking in to disappear.

 _No, I can't. I've gotta own up to myself._

He licked his lip nervously and chewed it. His body immediately locked up when the girl poked an eye open.

Disoriented and alone, she just hoped she passed in her sleep and her brother was sitting there. Only all she saw was the long, dreaded, silver hair she prayed never to see again.

"Mm… no…"

She closed blurry eyes and rubbed them again. Again she saw him again.

"Am I in hell…?"

There was a snicker, then a full on laugh. It was rare, even to his own ears.

"No but if you count starving to death in a dirty motel, yes."

The remnant brought his knees up, crossing them nearly with each other. He faced the preteen silently a smile still tugging at his lips.

The girl's delicate hands shook running through her hair. She fell on the ground almost in agony, as if the world fell on top of her. She felt like that one myth where the man had to hold the earth on his shoulders for the rest of eternity.

"My hair-! Why is it so short! Did I cut it that short!"

She desperately called to no one. Her hands clenched the short strands in stress almost ripping them from her scalp.

The remnant winced at the sight. He had dreamy, beautiful, silver hair that flew in the winds and sang songs in the breeze.

Just the thought of somebody touching the treasure on his head and yanking it off irked him to the core.

Maybe it was just instinct but his hands found themselves locked with her wrists pulling them off her head. Her scalp was injured already, scissor marks, purple bruises and all. Of course she fought with him.

She smacked him and tugged her arms, kicking her feet in the air and at his legs.

"Let go of me!"

She yelled and almost immediately the remnant did. She didn't expect him to though.

"Why are you here? I thought you were dead!"

Yazoo's eyes flashed for a second until he realized that only Shinra knew he was alive. All the other people, that woman Cloud talks to, the guy with the gun arm and that _annoying_ _little bitch_ with the Materia had no idea. Not even that boy Yazoo passed by the street that day, with Geostigma.

To the public he was dead. _Maybe it's better that way._

The remnant's mind scattered in pieces of that day, the day the Lifestream spat him back out. The same day the stigma was gone, but Gaia played a sick joke.

' _After all the shit you pulled on my planet, you really think you belong here? Your brother's will never stay here with the dead. Have fun watching all your friends die.'_

Gaia didn't say that but Yazoo liked to think she did.

No, _of course_ she did.

"The Lifestream didn't want me, or my brother. I believe she has a… unique sense of humor."

Yazoo tried to crack a joke, hoping the kid smiled.

"I don't wanna go back in anyway, I only lived a week on Earth."

The kid wasn't staring at him directly, just at his… eyelashes?

"I left my partner and all I got is that chair up there and my gun."

He stood up and brushed the dust off his arms, green slit eyes scanning the room.

 _Was leaving Reno worth it?_

With what he did to him, _took advantage of him_ … Reno was just a player, it didn't matter.

He'd be lying if his heart wasn't aching. They weren't even romantically involved, yet in some distant world he imagined them happily together, married, having a child…

But both of them were scared to be their mothers.

Someday, in that same world Yazoo could just have a serious 'talk' with him, yet all it'll be is just him confessing how much he loved him.

 _Has Reno ever had somebody tell him that?_

"You don't wanna die?"

"No. As much as I hate it here, At least-"

He coughed in his sleeve, his lungs giving out. He took a breath, eyes watering as he regained his senses.

"At least I have my brother."

He wiped his eyes. For some reason his breath was coming out slow and rasped as if something was blocking the way.

"Your brother's alive too? Oh no…"

The girl whimpered. She scooted away from where Yazoo coughed, brown eyes peering into green wet ones.

"My brother's up his partner's ass, he doesn't care about the earth anymore. I don't think he cared in the first place to be honest… neither did I…"

Yazoo had to get up. His breath was coming out rasped, eyes full of stuffy tears as he coughed.

 _Was he getting sick? Why was he getting sick?_

"Our little brother cared, he tried everything to please our Mother… we did too… but everybody hates us anyway, what's the point in fighting them?"

He grasped the kitchen counter.

"If I could go back and destroy Mother's head I would, she's done nothing but destroy us…"

Short, low, rasps of breath as he desperately tried to keep standing. He didn't know it but his hair gradually lost its silver luster, becoming a dull gray.

 _What the hell is happening to me?_

Finally he sat down on a bar stool the girl obviously stole. His body shook and trembled as if the room suddenly dropped to -5 degrees.

"What's your name…?"

Yazoo wiped his eyes. He shuddered but the room only stayed the same.

The preteen picked up a blanket. Low mumbles escaped the thin lips.

"I don't have a name. You can call me whatever you want. Only my brother knew my real name and now he's dead so…"

Yazoo coughed again. Thin, frail, fingers tugged on the blanket, throwing it over his shaking shoulders.

"Anything I want?"

 _My voice just cracked at the worse time._

The girl didn't really hear him or maybe just not care.

"Mm… um.."

The silverette stared at the girl.

Chocolate cropped locks brushed just on top of her ears and red dark eyes blinked up at him, the torn skirt around her waist ripped from the seams. An old grey tank top balanced on her shoulders, bandages wrapped around her chest to keep her pert breasts in place.

A thousand names popped in his head, only one just stuck out and gnawed at his brain.

"Abby. Abby Williams, you know _The Crucible?"_


	12. XII

**Guys, your support is much appreciated, like it makes me happy. Thank you so much guys, I love you 3**

 **Also, which parts do you want to read about more? Obviously I haven't done Loz' part as much. But I've taken a liking to write about Kadaj more. There's so much to him yet**

 ******* _ **also oh shit I just went back and played Dirge of Cerberus again which this story is taking place in and just realized I got sloppy with a few details. This is the part when the deepground soldiers come back up and attack Edge. Genesis' 'DNA' isn't enough for Omega's power so they go back to their original plan. Cloud got his info from the Shinra library and Rufus, but not the full picture. Sorry about the confusion!**_ *******

 _ **DISCLAIMER: go back to ch 1**_

* * *

"Of all the times he works, he leaves me with a messy fucking house."

Kadaj grumbled, sweeping the floor. He tied his silver hair back into a ponytail, his bang lifted up to reveal the hidden eye he never let anybody see.

 _Not that important, dunno why people are obsessed with it._

Kadaj inspected his reflection in the messy mirror again. The eye was just twitching, blurry lenses unable to see itself in the mirror.

 _Cloud won't get mad if it tell him I'm half blind, right?_

Well he wasn't _fully_ blind in that eye. If Kadaj closed the good eye and just left the other one open, he could see silhouettes and colors and…

 _Weird auras._

When he first took his first steps out in this earth, he started running. Clothes started to appear on his body, hair smooth, skin soft as silk… but then he saw Loz and Yazoo, who came out before him had both eyes.

They had glowing jade-like eyes resembling a cat. And Kadaj only had one.

He didn't know what it was for. Surely Sephiroth didn't leave him unfinished, right?

 _Now that he thought about it…_

He recalled breathing in the air, getting used to how _weird_ it was. He felt like a baby after it had its first intake of air.

He wandered around the crater, the cold bothering him only the slightest. He lifted up the silvery bangs covering his right eye.

Only to just see a grey standout and black silhouettes with… auras around them?

He wasn't sure what they were. They were just atmosphere surrounding a person to see if they were good or bad… all of them had the same color, white. But when Cloud attacked him he had the same color too…

It was only after he saw a person on the street stricken with the stigma that the color was fading. The white aura was disappearing in the air, leaving shrivels of what was remaining to just float up and dissolve.

 _Were they returning to the planet?_

Maybe his eye was just to see who was dying or not.

He couldn't take the constant blur and lights flashing all around him so he covered his eye.

 _I should invest in an eyepatch…_

Kadaj lowered the bangs slowly, bothered with it getting exposed. He put the broom on the counter and let out a deep sigh, tired with the mess around him.

 _I still gotta sweep the floors and clean the dishes, gods what have I done all day?_

The laundry room was right outside of the apartment door, down the hallway where there was noisy kids and an old couple yelling at each other.

Kadaj was tempted to try the machine out since he's never done laundry before. He literally separated blacks from whites, socks and colors… only he couldn't leave.

 _I wish I had friends…_

 _I wish Loz and Yazoo were still alive…_

He couldn't feel their energy anymore, then again he wasn't powerful. It's not like he was his old self where he could hear Sephiroth's cursed voice and Mother's soft but stern voice that he dared say, got on his nerves.

Kadaj sat down on the soft but plushy couch Cloud invested on getting. He was wearing Cloud's old clothes again, the ones from three years ago when he was a mercenary. A comfortable blue turtleneck with tight pants.

 _Why didn't Cloud throw this away?_

Kadaj laid back, lifting up the soft blue material and took in a whiff. Lost in the scent of lilac laundry soap and musk, the remnant felt his heart pick up the pace.

 _He smells so good…_

The silverette knew that feeling but it just felt so…

This wasn't desire for the man like before. He was a remnant of Sephiroth, he couldn't love.

But what was it…

 _Flash!_

Kadaj only had a second to scramble up on the couch.

A bright light just flashed in his eyes for a second, coming straight from the balcony window. He was tempted to look out but he didn't want to risk it.

" _What the hell!"_

A man screamed from down below, children ran around looking for their mother and the women were all trying to find a place to hide.

Was there an… _army?_ A full fledged _militia?_

 _Are the people rioting?_

Kadaj didn't know where but he knew the sounds of people protesting. Their screams were different. If people were rioting and protesting, then they would've have a resilience to their tone.

Now it just sounds like animals being put down.

Kadaj stayed on the ground, just tilting his head up to see beyond the rails of the balcony. He glanced back to make sure the door was locked.

He crawled down, knocking over a high chair. It banged on the ground next to his face. He tried to look for his phone but it just vanished.

One thing that he never trusted himself over was a cellphone. Even Yazoo was wary about giving it to him.

 _Gotta… call… Cloud…_

 _Does he even know what's going on here?_

Surely he would've heard it over the radio, or on TV.

 _Attack on Edge! Is this an act of terrorism? Is Shinra responsible?_

He heard shots ringing down below. Almost could see the flickers of light. The sounds reverberated in his ears and rung over the walls of Edge.

 _And to think his brothers were bad._

Fifty rifle shots broke the unhinging silence, a fog of smoke rising up to cover. Kadaj guessed people were being taken captive.

The noisy couple next door was crying. The old people down the hall turned off their tv, and the child that normally played around in the hallway was dead silent.

The remnant's heart raced in his chest, beating on the soft carpet below.

 _I gotta call Cloud!_

He crawled where the phone stand was and quickly snatched the phone from the holder shakily dialing the blonde's number below.

" _Damn it, damn it was there an eight or a six? Fucking hell, what was it!"_

He panicked, skin freezing to the touch since all the blood raced to his head. Lithe fingers bounced on the buttons.

More screaming, more shots.

 _You little wimp. Go do something._

Finally he hit the button.

He pressed the phone to his ear, shakily standing up. He was half afraid all the shots from below would go through the balcony window.

 _Ring… ring…_

"Come on Cloud, now's not the time to just ignore me-"

"I'm not."

Kadaj yelped, feet landing on the couch as he dropped the phone. On instinct he grabbed the broom and swung it in front of him, hitting a vase.

The scream buried deep in the remnant's throat dissipated as his eyes landed on Cloud. The blonde had Buster behind him, giving Kadaj a split second thought as to _how the hell he managed to walk in the front door with-_

"Well?You just gonna stand there with your jaw hanging open like some cat?"

Cloud stepped in the room, heavy footsteps on the soft surface. A hand reached out and pulled on Kadaj's sweater, pushing him down on the floor.

Shots burst open from the window, shattering the glass. It left deep holes in the wall.

 _Cloud hated getting these walls dirty…_

After a while, Cloud carefully stood up with Kadaj shaking against him.

The clone steadied himself, gripping the table. He glanced over his shoulder at the blonde.

"Who's attacking-"

"Deepground. Assholes won't let up."

Cloud finished his question before he even started.

"You still know how to fight?"

The blonde's eyes met his straight away, his hands clasp on Kadaj's shoulders to keep him upright.

The clone furrowed his brows, mind elsewhere. Everything was happening at once so he was stuck in the middle.

A bomb that shook the ground below and cracked the balcony floor brought him back.

"U-Uh yeah, but with what? I don't have _Souba_ , they're-"

"You have a book about magic Kadaj, don't tell me you don't know how to cast a spell or two."

And that was true.

When Sephiroth created him, he gave him a sword but for backup he embedded runes in Kadaj's mind just in case he lost his weapons.

"Yeah I do magic, you think I'm useless? Sephiroth liked me, Yazoo and Loz-"

"You're useless if you keep talking."

Cloud interrupted him snarkily, jangling keys on his belt. The door in the back unlocked to reveal guns of all types and a… _staff?_

The blonde threw the staff at Kadaj. The remnant caught it just in time before the crystallized ball on top broke.

"I don't understand, the hell is this-"

"Just shut up and fire that thing. We're running out of time."

Cloud snapped, sending shivers down Kadaj's spine. Instantly the remnant shut up.

He didn't leave room for Kadaj to even speak. He left the teen behind, running down the hallways. Kadaj took a good look around the room for a second, a pang of anxiety in his chest that this could be the last time he saw this room.

Only the gunshots down below woke him up.

He ran outside, careful as hell not to let the staff hit the walls. He swore it bumped into a corner.

"Where are we going?"

Kadaj spoke up, slightly irritating Cloud. A quick glance to his face told him that.

"Hey come on, don't get mad at me! You know the whole city still knows my name-"

"There's somebody more important than you I gotta get. The people I'm working with are fighting in the streets so they're left alone."

 _What?_

"I don't get it-"

Cloud stopped him again, turning around so Kadaj bumped into him. The silverette hesitantly looked up at him, the staff glowing. The blonde had an unreadable expression on his face.

"You'll get it soon."

 _I hope so._

Kadaj blinked, the colors of the room shifting in his line of sight. The other eye was twitching rapidly, the atmosphere suddenly shaking.

 _Why…_

He stared up at Cloud mindlessly, the way his body faded from the lightness rapidly, almost like he was…

 _Why can't I see him anymore?_

 _There's something wrong with my eye…_

If the stream is leaving his body, why isn't he dying? He's fading fast, too fast-

 _Oh no._

Cloud felt like there was something wrong since Kadaj's knees capsized in on itself and fell over.

"Damn it Kadaj-"

" _Move!"_

The remnant grabbed him and threw all his weight on him, both of their bodies landing on the floor. Kadaj kept his head down, forcing the blonde on the floor.

Multiple shots fired into the wall, hitting the windows and tore down the plaster.

Heavy silence hung in the air, the faint smell of powder and burnt wood under their noses.

" _Quiet."_

Kadaj whispered, glancing up at the shadows flickering past the ray of light through the crevice on the wall. Cloud felt the remnant's finger on his lips. Had not been Deepground with them, the situation would've been a hell of a lot different.

"No one here, Rosso. Not even that delivery boy."

A gruff voice huffed into a small speaker on the other side of the wall. Kadaj could make out the footsteps through the dents.

"Huh? What clone of Sephiroth?"

Kadaj felt his whole world crashing down. _They were still after him?_

"No, haven't found him yet- yeah I found one of Strife's apartments. Wasn't there. He must've ran off with him."

Kadaj wanted so bad to peek through the casings. Even with his hand on Cloud's mouth, he felt the blonde's arm slide around his waist keeping him down. But…

 _Does he know what space is?_

"Don't threaten me Rosso. You don't scare me."

The gruff man hung up, kicking a rock. By some stroke of _unfortunate luck_ , the stone hit their wall.

Their _wooden_ wall.

If his day couldn't get any more worse than this…

Cloud opened his lips and took a breath, about to whisper something but Kadaj clamped his hand down.

"Shut up."

The remnant hissed in his ear, panicking as he watched the man behind the wall huff and stomp away. He just saw blue lining under his feet.

It all went silent. No gunshots, nothing.

"Alright… I think it's all good."

Kadaj carefully stood up with Cloud's help, peeking through the opening to see bonfires in the streets and dead bodies of people who resisted. He felt sick to his stomach.

"Those bastards…"

The remnant hissed. Much to his surprise, Cloud just opened the door and walked right outside. Didn't even worry about soldiers on the streets, _oh no._

"Cloud!"

Kadaj hissed, a bit paranoid to walk outside, half afraid somebody was gonna come and recognize him. Ever since he spawned he's been kept hidden from the world, even at Rikku's camp.

"Come on. I don't have all day."

Cloud kept on walking, not even bothering with the bodies on the ground or if there was soldiers coming back.

 _Is he this desensitized?_

The remnant took a deep breath, glancing at the world outside, the scent of wood burning and charred flesh under his nose.

 _Everybody's dead, right?_

Kadaj stepped over a man's leg. Looks like the guy didn't make it past the building before exploding from a spare grenade.

It really makes him think if the goddess actually do care about lives. She just lets people die horrible meaningless deaths, even children was part of it. No matter how much he tried to forget it, the voices of infected kids dying never left his head.

Maybe Gaia just liked punishing him. Maybe that's why she sent him here.

* * *

"Cloud, where are we going?"

He couldn't count how many times he lost Cloud in the middle of Edge. The man had to recount how far he'd walked and stepped back behind the buildings, not to mention stopping for a second and disappearing the next.

"Cloud?"

Kadaj asked once more, getting irritated as he was ignored. He watched the blonde finally stop and look around, turning around to face him.

"This is it. You stay at the doorway, behind the wall so they don't see you."

Cloud brought the teen inside, shutting the door. His hands were on Kadaj's shoulders the entire time.

"Yeah, like that. Point that staff and shoot people, or whatever magic you do."

Before Kadaj could ask anything Cloud disappeared in a heartbeat.

The teen looked up the stairs and the torn up wallpapers, the shattered glass on the ground and the empty room next door that looked bombed to bits. The scent of gunpowder and burnt wood was heavy under his nose, it didn't help with the yelling next door.

 _Why did these people attack Edge? Couldn't they have attacked the Al Bhed camp again?_

Come to think of it, that man on the phone did mention Kadaj…

 _So anywhere he went, the place was a target?_

 _That wasn't good._

That meant Cloud was a risk. His friends were risks too, who knows where they are.

 _Should he even be worried?_

 _What the hell was the goal of these people?_

Kadaj guessed these Deepground soldiers listened to Sephiroth or some other celestial being claiming to be a god. It's the only way a whole army would march on a city just to butcher everyone.

Maybe just a god that promised paradise? He read a lot of books with crazy cults and all that.

The sound of children coming from upstairs twitched his ears, a sinking feeling in his chest. _Cloud better not be bringing Marlene._

Loz had the better chance with Marlene. He remembered how much the brat hated him.

Every damn child there hated Kadaj's guts, everyone. They all preferred Loz because he didn't yell at them and Yazoo just hoped one would. One minute Yazoo wanted to kill all of them and the next he wanted a family, his own children.

Maybe he had the epiphany that looking after orphans wasn't so bad after all. Kadaj recalled hesitation when he unloaded the kids from the truck he was driving, how _maybe_ mother needed adults, not children.

" _I-I mean you can spare this one, right? What about this?"_

 _Yazoo frowned extending his arm over the brainwashed child. A little girl with pale sunken catlike eyes and pigtails. The second one was a little boy with sandy blonde hair. An orphan._

 _Kadaj just tsked and whisked them away out of the water, never sparing any attention to Yazoo who insisted on leaving at least one child behind._

" _We are leaving one child behind, who's that with Loz?"_

 _Kadaj pointed at the little girl who fought with the broader remnant. She punched and kicked at his leg but nothing worked. She just yelled names and curses at him, not like it did her any good._

" _Yeah but you know these kids are gonna be killed, Kadaj, it makes no sense Mother would kill her fledglings-"_

" _Are you questioning Mother's motives, Yazoo? It doesn't help you're not her favorite!"_

 _He didn't know what overcame him but he slapped Yazoo, the sting left on his hand. His hand wasn't the only thing hurting._

 _Yazoo's once perfect porcelain face had a red mark on his cheek, forming into a bruise. Tears poked through those soft eyes - soft like Loz - and he had to look away._

" _I don't know why you're obsessed with kids, all they do is scream and eat all your food and boss you around, I hate kids!"_

 _He yelled at him, luckily he had his back turned. He couldn't bear to see his expression._

" _And they're so weak, why not! It's not like they'll live any better in the slums!"_

' _But you're a kid.'_

 _He almost swore he heard Yazoo say that. Maybe it was his own imagination._

" _Besides, Sephiroth hates kids. Doesn't make sense we could love them either."_

"Cloud!"

A high pitched voice broke him from his reverie. It came from upstairs.

The remnant was almost tempted to run up and see but a couple of thuds on the floor and little feet pattering told him enough.

"Cloud, you're the best!"

Another voice coming from a boy came up.

 _Oh no, he knew that voice…_

Kadaj couldn't bear looking at the same kids, he had so much sins he couldn't forgive himself for, and these kids were one of them.

He panicked, electric bolts from his staff sparking and hitting the walls. It dug holes where it normally would've blasted a human into bits.

He pressed his back to the door, the staff shaking in his hands as he stared at the bottom steps, slowly moving up where Cloud's voice stopped.

He was standing on top of the stairs holding a girl in his arms, the girl with the bow Loz was fixated on. The boy next to him, the one with messy brown hair…

Stared _right_ back at him.

* * *

"Sir?"

A deep voice stirred Rufus from his sleep. Too busy with the stuff left behind by his company these days, he usually left his tasks to the W.R.O.

"Yes, Rude?"

The fact that he had to _look up_ or even _sit up_ didn't register in his mind, he was way too tired for this.

Four sleepless nights and exhausting arguments with Tseng nearly drove him to the brim, not to mention he couldn't go to Tseng's apartment.

It's not that he wasn't _allowed_ in, Tseng didn't have the guts to turn him down on his doorstep but the fact that he _avoided_ his presence changed things.

He didn't know what stirred it but one day Tseng came in on edge, twitching and snapping at people for no reason. One of the people that applied to work as a Turk became unnerved by his presence. Even after all grueling training and the tireless paperwork, Tseng ticked her off.

Rufus tried countless times to sway Tseng but since he was the President's bodyguard, he knew all his tricks. He just left Rufus alone and empty.

Now the Wutain didn't even go to work.

First it was Loz - _even though he didn't count because of his injuries -_ and Yazoo, because of a stupid argument with Reno, and now Tseng.

The blonde hated being on the loose end of everything.

With his father around, he was always on top, knowing about who thought what. With such a strong business but a weak interior, it was so damn _easy_ to hack.

No wonder Genesis got ahold of the materia. Rufus wasn't even sure where he got it, besides the lab.

But Genesis wasn't even _allowed_ in the lab. Sure he was a 1st class SOLDIER, but even they had restrictions.

The only person to be allowed in the labs was-

"Deepground has taken over Edge, sir."

Rude stood there, stoic as usual.

"Deepground?"

Rufus rubbed his forehead, knitting his eyebrows together.

"I see. Reeve will fix it."

The blonde turned his chair around signaling he was done talking to the Turk but paused, speaking up once more.

"Where's Reno?"

Rude was halfway to opening the door, glancing back at his chair.

"At his apartment, drinking away his problems."

He heard a noticeable 'tsk'. Rufus had turned around his chair and set his elbows on the mahogany desk.

"Bring him back. Order his termination if he doesn't comply."

Rude tensed up, about to protest. The T.V suddenly flashed, startling the two of them.

The Turk cautiously stepped beside the President, focusing on the T.V.

A man with unkempt white hair appeared on the screen, sitting in a makeshift throne of some sort, completely half naked.

"The hell is this?"

The president moved to turn off the tv, snatching the remote off the side, but a maddening voice broke the silence, almost as if it was addressed to _him._

" _At last… the time has come to cleanse this planet…"_

The crazy man's voice seemed to shake the speakers from how gravelly and deep it was.

For a second Rufus thought it was Kadaj but the guttural tone - in contrast with Kadaj's honeyed words - differentiated the two drastically. The last thing Rufus recalled, from the photo one of the droids took at Rikku's camp, Kadaj had delicate, silver hair that flowed in the wind. Even though this was a year ago, Rufus vaguely remembered the smell of pristine clean water - like washing your hair out after you set it in conditioner - from the remnant's silver locks. This deranged man had nappy white hair which looked like it hasn't been combed in years.

"Rude, change this channel now."

Rufus ordered but caught the Turk hesitating.

"Sir-"

" _The pure will be 'spared' for the cause, while the tainted will be hunted down and exterminated…"_

" _Who the hell is this-_ Rude, I order you to turn this up!"

The man seemed a bit taken aback by the sudden command. He furrowed his brows, the remote falling in the floor.

"But I thought you told me-"

" _They shall be slashed, strangled and_ _ **slaughtered."**_

Rude shook his head but complied, cranking the volume button on completely so the crazy man's guttural voice nearly burst the speakers.

The blonde stared long and hard at the screen, as if he was trying to piece the puzzle together.

He knew who this person was, he _had_ too.

" _Beaten, stabbed, and_ _ **crushed.**_ _Garroted and impaled… Shot and executed_ _ **without mercy**_ _."_

"Well, he's… elaborate."

Rude fixed his sunglasses, looking visibly uncomfortable.

Rufus coughed as a sign he felt the same way, listening but had that thought in the back of his mind-

 _Where have I heard that tone of voice before?_

" _The time has come… to cleanse this world."_

The T.V just buzzed out, leaving both of the men heavily confused. In fact they dealt with the same thing each and every day, they didn't care about scare tactics anymore. Rufus _loved_ them when he was young and stupid, having the same dream of conquering the world, by fear. It only cost higher in the end.

"He sounds just like me when I was younger… Except my vocabulary wasn't as keen back then."

Rufus crossed his legs. He noticed Rude had fully turned around, the same knitted eyebrows he was so accustomed to.

"Sir, this could explain the mass invasion in Kalm. You still haven't found those taken yet."

Rude brought up a very good point. It wasn't that the president _forgot_ the names of those missing, he just… Didn't find the effort to help.

He let the W.R.O handle everything, all he did was sit back and cash in money once in awhile. Reeve _despised_ every time he held that fat check in his hands, he often cussed out at him through angry written letters and Cait Sith breaking in his laptop.

" _Why don't you do anything!"_ He wrote in the letter, bearing down every word. _"The world hates Rufus Shinra but it doesn't hurt to let everybody know you help a little! Everytime I hold this check, I get reminded of a deadbeat father handing his kid allowance, even though the kid hasn't seen him in a few years. We can handle ourselves, but please for the love of Minerva, do_ _ **something!"**_

Of course Rufus handed him a paycheck after he sent him the letter, but just a gil short.

"Has the W.R.O found anything?"

Rufus rubbed the crevice of his eyebrows, slightly frustrated with everything.

"No sir, not yet-"

The door burst open to reveal Elena, whose face resembled catching a ghost.

"Sir, did you see it!

She panted, doing an awfully bad job at keeping her worries at bay. The blonde couldn't blame her, half the world probably shit their pants watching it.

He couldn't exactly pinpoint it on her experience either, if Reno was in he would've been screaming at the president to do something or hauled Tseng's ass in.

"Yes I have, Elena-"

"And you're not gonna do anything about it?! He could be behind Kalm, and why Edge is getting emptier-"

 _Edge._

Rufus' eyes widened, buzzing Reeve's phone. He couldn't hear anything, maybe he left it in the kitchen, as always.

All of sudden he heard crashing through the speakers and a groan, another rough male voice in the background shouting and Reeve's own erupting.

" _I'm in the middle of something, Mr. President!"_

The blonde chewed on his lip, pressing the end close to his face.

"Reeve, Edge is under attack - I assume you know, based on what I'm hearing?"

He heard a grunt on the other side, not from Reeve. No, this was deeper…

" _You're a little too late with that, Rufus! My van just toppled-"_

The blonde heard another sound, an eccentric voice belonging to a girl.

" _Stupid deepground scum, oh yeah! You messed with the wrong people!"_

He heard a rougher voice muttering _'shut up'_ amid all the chaos.

" _As I was saying, you're awfully late. Did your printer break or are you short of staff?"_

Rufus could hear the sarcasm on his voice, scowling just quiet enough so Reeve didn't hear.

"You know how the situation is here. And I was briefed on it a while ago, I just forgot to tell you… Did you know that man on the T.V?"

He knew Reeve had to take a second off to catch a breather. When he did, the man was eager enough to answer.

" _The name's not exactly on my mind right now, but I know who he is. Read some papers back home, he's a real nutjob…And he's not related to Him in any sense, just in case you were wondering."_

Rufus didn't know if he should celebrate they didn't have another Sephiroth clone running rampant in the streets or if the man was _that_ easy to come by.

" _But, he's got a big army. All the S-rank criminals are on his side, including the Tsviets. Would really like some help here."_

The corners of the blonde's lips soon turned up in a smile.

"Don't worry, I've got your back. I've always had, right?"

And with that, the call ended.

Rufus shut his eyes, leaning back in his chair. The silhouettes of the Turks under his eyelids grew closer, until they were at his desk.

"Sir, just send the word."

Years of knowing Rude told him he was eager to handle this problem as soon as possible, just from his tone of voice.

"I'll only send the word once everybody gets their head out of their asses. Tell Reno I'll lower his salary even more and if I smell alcohol in his breath, I'll fling him out my window."

He was being serious about all this, he was so close to doing it a few years ago.

"Loz's injuries must've healed, so I'll let him know when to step in. Find Yazoo, and break down Tseng's door for me, will you?"

Rufus let out a long sigh, standing up. He threw his jacket over his shoulder.

"My, my, the weather is unpleasant. Guess I'll be calling a taxi."

* * *

 _ **R &R please!**_


End file.
